


(not) just friends

by eeery



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Eventual Smut, Fluff & Angst, I'm so bad at tagging, M/M, Romance, Slow Romance, and summaries, cuz they're dorks, there's gonna be lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2018-11-06 13:04:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11036751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eeery/pseuds/eeery
Summary: Laurent was so close now, he was almost pressed flat against him. His voice barely more than a whisper. His blue eyes dark and cheeks flushed pink."I want to be the one who makes you feel reckless and unsteady and out of control, Damen" he said. "I want to be the reason why you can't sleep tonight. The one you are inexplicably drawn to."Damen let out a small groan and leaned forward. "Believe me," he said, touching Laurent's chin, raising it slightly. "You already are."





	1. First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

> As you all may (or may not know) I'm sooo insecure about my writing, especially when I write in English. This is the first time I'm going to write a whole fic and not an one-shot, so I'm kind of nervous how this will turn out. Please bear with me! 
> 
> It's going to start off slow, because I don't like to rush things when it comes to love stories (don't let the summary fool you) But, nevertheless, I hope you enjoy reading this!

Damen rushed downstairs, while filling his backpack with the notebooks, pens and pencils he'd need for the day. Running late again. He wished he hadn't watched Scarface last night, although he had known he would be late for the umpteenth time.

"My god," his mother said as she heard him. "Damen, honey, why are you late again?'

His stepfather looked up from his newspaper and smiled at her. "Well, you know how seventeen-year-old boys are, Egeria."

"I swear to god if he's going to come flying in here and tell me he has to have the car today or he'll be — "

"Mom, I gotta have the car today or I'll never make it before school starts."

His stepfather chuckled without looking up as she eyed her son, not knowing whether to take satisfaction in having been correct or to feel irritated by having to wait until 4 pm to do the errands she had planned for the day.

"Keys are on the counter, Damen," she said. "And be home by 4 pm, no later."

"Thanks, mom. You're a lifesaver."

Damen grabbed a piece of toast from the table and the keys from the counter. He flew out the frontdoor and dove into the car. He knew he was going to be in trouble for being late again, but it didn't matter to him. He drove his car into the parking lot two minutes after the first bell rang.

When he finally did enter the classroom, he saw that Mr. Palmer wasn't usually behind his desk. As he walked towards his desk at the back of his desk, he heard the unmistakable, high-pitched voice of Jokaste.

"I heard that there's a new guy coming to our school. I didn't see him myself yet, but a couple of girls already said that he's super cute and a total heartthrob," she said over-enthusiastic, leaning across her table.

Damen signed and took his phone out of his pocket. While he was untangling his earphones, he heard the door slam shut and saw the teacher walking into the classroom. He quickly tucked his phone away and his gaze went immediately to the blond who was standing next to Mr. Palmer.

"So, everyone, I'd like you to meet Laurent. He's a new student, so treat him nice and make him feel welcomed, okay?"

Damen noticed that the girls were whispering and when they realized that Mr. Palmer was looking at them, they immediately stopped conversing, as if they were caught doing something they shouldn't. Damen and Nikandros looked at each other and shrugged in unison.

He looked at Laurent and understood why the girls found him handsome, because he was. One peek at his blue eyes and Damen couldn't help but want another glimpse. They really stood out, especially against his fair skin and blond hair.

Embarrassed, Damen lowered his gaze, and focused his attention on his homework, an English paper about why William Shakespeare's plays were still relevant in modern society.

There was something about Laurent that intrigued him and it had been a long time since he had that feeling. He shook his head, trying to clear away the thoughts that buzzed in his brain like flies.

"You can sit there in the back, Laurent," Mr. Palmer said, pointing at the desk in front of Damen.

Laurent nodded and sat behind his desk, his jacket off, shirtsleeves rolled up. Damen noticed a blond hair curling up around the nape of his neck.

Jokaste, who was sitting next to him, flashed her full-lipped smile. "Hey Laurent, my name is Jokaste," she said seductively towards him. "If you need any help with finding classes and all that stuff, I can show you later if you want?"

He looked up at her and nodded in acknowledgement, seemingly uninterested. "Hey... um, what was it again?"

The corner of her lip twitched. Damen bet no one had ever asked for her name twice before.

"Jokaste." She giggled and tucked a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. "Anyway, you're up for it?

Damen could hear him sigh. "No, I'll be fine. Thanks, though."

This last statement of his immediately gave Jokaste cold feet. Her eyes went wide and Damen observed a look of disbelief, and then, one of angry determination. "Well, whatever, you weren't even that cute to begin with."

Nikandros rolled his eyes and tapped Damen on his shoulder. "What's the deal with her, anyway?" he mumbled.

Jokaste gave him a deadly look, turned and began talking to a girl sitting next to her. Damen grinned and began playing with his pencil as Mr. Palmer droned on about conjugating irregular verbs.

Mr. Palmer closed his book and suddenly said, "So, putting the verbs aside for a minute, would anyone want to volunteer as a library receptionist in our school library after 4 pm? It's only on mondays and thursdays."

Everyone went silent. Damen was looking at Nikandros with a question mark crinkled on his face. Did the school even have a library? He knew that no one would raise their hand and he purposely avoided making eye-contact with Mr. Palmer, hoping he wouldn't notice him.

It sounded like a pain in the ass. Damen had better things to do after school than sitting in a library doing absolutely nothing. He would miss his swim practice and eventually get scolded by his coach and he wasn't exactly waiting for that.

"Come on, guys? No one?" Mr. Palmer let out a sigh. "Damen?"

Shit.

Damen sighed internally, then, startled, he looked up. "No, um... Unfortunately, I have swim practice, Mr. Palmer," he answered with a smile, trying to remain as polite as possible.

"I don't think I gave you any options, did I?"

He glared at him, replying to Mr. Palmers comment with just as much bite. "Listen," Damen said, dropping his fake act. "I'm busy after school. I'm not doing it."

Damen heard several students laugh at his comment, but clearly Mr. Palmer failed to find the humor in it. He tucked his chin in and his gaze was narrowed as he stared at Damen. "If you do not show up after the last school bell rings, you'll be in big trouble, young man. Especially with that attitude of yours."

Damen shifted in his seat. He wasn't going to take no for an answer. "Fine," he said.

After the bell rang, Damen glared at Nikandros, who was talking to Gabrielle, some chick he had a crush on. "Thanks for the help, Nik."

"Wait, what? You seemed like you were handling it." He turned to Gabrielle and said something that made her laugh.

"Well, whatever, I'm going for lunch. You're coming with me?"

Seeing Nikandros not replying to him, Damen sighed and decided not to disturb them any further. He grabbed his things and went to his locker. He put his earphones back over his head, quickly switched books and made his way past the chattering students to the canteen.

Damen remained by the door, surveying the students. He looked across the room where the jocks were sitting at a long table. He thought about turning around, finally having some peace on his own, when one of the jocks called his name.

"Damen."

Damen continued walking.

"Yo, Damen!"

He stopped and turned in Lazars direction. He gave him a look and waved him over. Sighing inwardly, he made his way to the table.

"Where were you going?" Jord asked as he sat down.

"Nowhere, I forgot where you were sitting," Damen replied.

Jord gave him a look, but then continued, "We're going to hang out after school, all the cheerleaders are coming too."

"So?" Damen asked, taking a bite from his sandwich.

"Are you coming with us this time? You're always going to your swim practice. You've been barely hanging out with us anymore."

Damen scoffed. "I'm stuck with a shitty librarian job at school."

Pallas slapped him on the back. "Man, that sucks. Just skip it, like you always do. Jokaste is coming too, you know? She's been eyeing you up since you got here."

Jokaste was four tables down, staring at him and sitting in a cheerleader outfit a size too tight. She was sitting with several girls from the squad and the swim team. She gave him a lascivious smile followed by a wink.

Yeah... her message was loud and clear.

Damen frowned and averted his gaze from her table. "And what about Laurent?"

"Oh, you mean that new blond kid? Nah, I don't think he's a worthy rival. There's no need to worry, she's all yours," he said with a grin.

Damen saw Laurent sitting alone at a table, but he didn't seem to mind it at all. He began to blow strands of steam from his soup while he flipped his science book open. His slightly mussed hair and flushed cheeks made Damen smile unintentionally.

All of a sudden, Laurent looked up at him and then back down at his book. Damen felt the heat of a blush creeping up his neck. He scratched the back of his head and took a slow bite from his chicken sandwich.

Oh God, that was awkward.

He buried his head in his hands and released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He wasn't exactly looking forward to sitting behind a reference desk surrounded by old, dusty books. His mom was definitely going to kill him now, now that he was stuck with some stupid side-job at school.

Damen was just a few months away from his 18th birthday and kept on reminding himself that he would soon graduate and leave this hellhole.

 

***     *     ***

 

When the last bell had rung, Damen groaned and walked out of the main building. Behind that building was an area used for football and basketball and, to the left of that, was the library. The shouting of the footballteam slowly drifted away when he walked up the stairs.

Damen saw that the library door was ajar, a faint light revealed. A soft humming came from outside the library. He pushed the door slowly inward and Damen felt his heart skip a beat.

Laurent was sitting behind the reference desk, reading a book. The sweet glow of the setting sky basked on his golden hair as the perpetual sunset poured in through the windows. He looked up from his book and gave Damen a quick look before lowering his head again.

Damen threw himself in the chair beside Laurent and turned to him. "So, um, how did you end up here?"

"Same way you did." He didn't even bother to look up.

"Did he approach you after English?"

"Yup."

A silence settled between them, with only the humming of the air conditioner around them. Damen put his hands behind his head and leaned back against the chair.

"Why did you switch schools?" Damen asked, trying to break the tension.

"Personal reasons."

Yeah, this was going absolutely nowhere.

"Weird Fishes," Damen said with a grin.

Laurents face was expressionless when he raised his head, but Damen had noticed his surprised look and smiled inwardly. "That was the song you were humming right?"

A slow flush invaded Laurents face. "Can't believe you heard that," he mumbled.

"No, no, the melody was spot on. I... I love Radiohead. That song actually got me into them."

One corner of Laurents lips curved up in a half smile. "Thanks, I guess."

Damen laid down his head on his arms on the table. He felt peaceful, even a little sleepy, like lying in a patch of warm sun. His eyes wandered to Laurent, a warm smile on his face.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Laurent said, giving him a side-eye.

"You have really nice eyes," Damen said and he immediately regretted saying that. He flushed when he realized what he'd blurted out and the way Laurent didn't answer right away only made it worse.

"I've got to go," Laurent said finally and turned, closing his book and grabbing his backpack.

But Damen could swear he saw his cheeks turn pink in the dim light. He watched the door close behind Laurent and smiled to himself.

Maybe this wasn't such a bad day after all.


	2. A Little Bit Of Curiosity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little more interaction between the two and Damen getting jealous.

The moment Damen entered the canteen at lunchtime, Jokaste clutched to him, holding him tightly against her. She babbled on about this and that — how the whole cheerleader squad wanted her to be the homecoming queen this year and how she'd had a terrible morning because she'd lost her diamond earrings. _Then_ she explained she had to catch the bus instead of her car. And, after that, she went into a rant about how she secretely hated all the jocks in school.

Somehow then Jokaste changed the topic and asked him if he wanted to come over after school before Damen cut her off. He knew she had a tendency to babble when she was overexcited and not only did any of it make any kind of sense, but also, Damen really couldn't care less. And it wasn't as if he could really do anything for her, anyway.

"You know Damen, you've always been good at math," Jokaste began, as Damen had taken his seat and had already unwrapped his sandwich.

He glanced up from his uneaten sandwich. "Actually it's the only subject I'm good at."

"Well," she said, flashing her pearly whites, "I was wondering if you could help me with my math homework."

Damen let out a short sigh and groaned inwardly. "I can't today, Jokaste. Ask someone else."

"But, Damen," she said in a pleading tone. "Pretty please?"

He eyed her as she gave him a helpless look. "I have swim practice after school."

"Hmpf. Fine," she grumbled and crossed her arms. "Then I'll ask someone else." Damen saw that she nodded at something behind him.

At that moment, Laurent walked by their table with his tray in his hands, and Jokaste grabbed him by his arm and attached herself to his side. Frowning, Laurent tried to pull away, but Jokaste only tightened her grip. "Laurent, you seem like a pretty smart guy. Can you help me with my homework?" Jokaste darted a glance at Damen and quickly looked away. "Please?"

Laurent looked away and shook his head, grabbing at the back of his neck. "What are you doing, Jokaste?"

Damen worked his jaw back and forth and stared at Laurent, arms tightly folded against his chest. He narrowed his eyes at Jokaste. "Leave him out of this." He glanced over his shoulder at the jock table. At least half of them were watching them. Jokaste was undoubtedly having a laugh at his expense, and Damen suddenly felt irritated.

She pursed her lips and it was clear that she'd noticed the change in Damens voice. "What? No."

"Can you just get the f— "

"I'll help you."

Damen seemed just as surprised as Jokaste was, and for a moment, they just stared at Laurent, her hand still on his arm. Jokaste got a grin on her face and put a hand on Laurents shoulder. Damen saw this and he didn't like it, not at all. A strange feeling washed through him, as though he'd eaten something that had gone off. Not enough to make him sick, but enough to notice. But that wasn't the trouble. No. If Damen didn't know better, he would think he might be jealous. And that would be ridiculous.

"It's a drag, but I'll do it. Might as well get it over— "

"No, I'll do it," Damen interrupted. "Tell me how I can help, Jokaste."

Jokaste gaped at him and Damen forced a nonchalant shrug. Before he knew it, she wrapped her arms around him and sat down. "I knew you wouldn't let me down, Damen."

Out of the corner of his eye, Damen saw Laurent looking at him. Laurent's eyebrows went up just a bit, and the barest trace of a smile played at the corners of his mouth. He turned and walked back to an empty table, his food on his tray still left untouched.

Damen sighed and suddenly didn't feel hungry anymore. He pushed his tray away and stood up. "I'll be at your place at seven," he said to Jokaste.

"Damen?"

Damen turned. "Yeah?"

Jokaste looked at him through her long eyelashes and slowly shook her head. "No, never mind."

 

***    *    ***

 

The clouds slowly turned into a deep orange and gold. The air felt unnaturally heavy for September, but Damen tried to ignore the odd feeling. The familiar smell, the mixture of shampoo and pool water reached his nostrils. Damen quickly stripped down and put on his swimming trunks in a bathroom stall. He heard Coach's voice ringing in the distance and then Damen realized he was late. _Again_.

"Damen, hold up," Coach O'Donnell yelled. "Don't think you can just go swimming."

Damen let out an annoyed groan and turned to his coach. He yanked his goggles off his face and glanced up at Coach's mouthwash-blue eyes. "Hey, why didn't you show up on Monday? I don't know what's going on, but you've got to get yourself together. You've got to get the _team_ together, Damen. Did you forget you are the new team captain?" Coach said. He blew the whistle and one by one the guys sprinted off and dove into the water.

"I'm saddled with a shitload of work to do, Coach. My English teacher forced me to help him with a side job," Damen said annoyed. He gazed at the black and white tiles of the pool deck.

"Okay, well, I don't really care what's happening in your school life. I do care that whatever is happening is affecting the team. You can't just decide last minute to skip practice."

If Damen wanted to, he could leave, and just always skip practice. Sure, he'd probably get hell from Coach, but if he really wanted to skip, he could. And as badly Damen wanted to go home and sleep, he knew if he didn't practice enough, he wouldn't get better at swimming.

"I'm sorry," Damen muttered.

Coach slapped him on his back and started walking to his lifeguard chair. "Okay listen up, when I blow the whistle once, you dive from your position at the edge of the pool. You will then swim the length of the pool in breaststroke and then, when I blow twice, you swim in backstroke. Do I make myself clear?"

Damen took his position next to Pallas and Guymar, arms extended, fingertips straight out, head down. When he heard the whistle, he dove into the water, swimming to the far side of the pool. His head was engaged, fixed on what his body was doing —  finding the flow, the catch and the rhythm. When Damen was swimming he was mentally himself, floating free of all the worries and discomfort.

Out of all the sports available, he has been swimming since he was a little kid. Damen loved it when the clear blue water of the pool flowed over his skin. It reminded him of his father who had wanted him to become a swimmer, because he'd known Damen had a knack for it. In this place Damen had always felt close to him. In this place, his father had taught him to set goals and meet them. Here, his father was still alive.

After the practice, Damen walked into the locker room and dried himself off with a towel. He slid his phone from his swim team bag. Five missed calls. All from Jokaste. He sighed, muted his phone and slipped it back in his pocket. He ran his fingers through his wet mess of hair and exited the door, flinging his bag over his shoulder.

The cold air felt good against his thin shirt, the late-summer breeze stirring his dark hair. His damp hair was plastered to his head and he ignored the discomfort of water droplets clinging to his face. Damen's last hope was Jokaste forgetting it completely, but when he thought that, his phone immediately rang.

"Damen? Don't forget our— "

"No, I won't. Why are you calling me? Is there something wrong? It's not even 7 yet."

He heard Jokaste laugh. "No, silly. I just wanted to remind you. Don't be late, okay?"

"You sound awfully enthusiastic about math homework," Damen commented.

"Anyway, just don't be late. I'll be waiting for you, see you."

Jokaste hung up and Damen took a deep breath, then slowly exhaled. When was this day going to end? Damen felt drained and tired from the practice and the only thing he wanted to see was his bed. But now he needed to play teacher for Jokaste and he wasn't looking forward to any of it.

"What a coincidence."

Startled, Damen turned around and saw Laurent with a young boy next to him. Lauren'ts eyes were bright, the setting sun diminishing his pupils to tiny black spots surrounded by a sea of blue.

"Oh, um, hey Laurent," Damen said.

Laurent looked up at him and noticed his bag. "I didn't know you liked swimming so much. Your backstroke is amazing."

Damen felt himself flush slightly. "Were you watching us?"

"I was waiting for Nicaise, because he had swim practice," he answered and patted his hand lightly on the boy's head.

"Is he your little brother?"

Laurent shook his head and smiled softly. "No, he's just a kid that comes by way too often. I'm kind of babysitting him."

Damen grinned and crouched down next to the kid. "Hey, young man. How long have you been swimming?"

Nicaise stuck out his tongue. "I'm not going to tell you that, you giant animal."

Damen wrinkled his nose at Nicaise and looked up at Laurent. When he saw him, Lauren'ts expression bloomed into a smile until he suddenly burst out laughing. His laugh was a full-on belly laugh and Damen saw his eyes grow shiny with happy tears. And it was contagious. He couldn't help but laugh too, even though a little kid just had insulted him with 'giant animal'.

Laurent had a warm laugh that put Damen at ease. He couldn't help but think Laurent needed to laugh more. His face was full of color and his blue eyes sparkled with amusement.

"I'm so sorry," Laurent said and hicced back another laugh.

"No, it's okay," Damen said at last, a trace of a smile pulling up the corners of his lips again.

Nicaise shrugged. "What're you laughing for? I didn't mean it as a joke."

Laurent gave Nicaise a piercing look. "Hey mushroom, you can't just say whatever you want to someone."

"Stop calling me that," Nicaise said, sounding embarrassed.

Damen gave the two a sheepish look. "By the way," he said. He pulled out his phone out of his pocket. "Laurent, can you... would you mind giving me your— "

At that moment, Damen's phone went off again and he checked the message. Jokaste. _Great_.

"Speak of the devil," said Laurent, eyebrows raised as he saw her name on the screen. "You have a peculiar taste for girls, Damen."

Damen scoffed to himself, frowning in genuine frustration. "What? No way, she isn't my girlfriend," he said.

Laurent looked surprised. "Oh, really? Sorry, my bad."

Nicaise gave him an annoyed look. "Laurent, when are we going home?" he whined.

Damen grinned. "Oh, and before you forget, tomorrow's thursday."

Laurent sighed and walked to his car, a Porsche. It made Damen's car look like a toy in comparison. He found himself unable to take his eyes of the vehicle. Damen wondered if Laurent came for a rich family. But he certainly looked like someone from wealth. The way he dressed, his manners and his education, because he'd heard that Laurent was a transfer student from an elite, private school in France. Damen didn't know if this was true or not, but he believed it was.

While riding to Jokaste's house, Damen didn't know why Laurent's face kept resurfacing from the back of his mind. Damen tried to shrugg it off, but he felt his face go warm when he thought about Laurent watching him swim. God, now he was so acting like a twelve-year-old guy with some pathetic teenager's crush on a boy.

Maybe he just needed some distraction and be told to snap out of it.

 _Maybe_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter was a bit boring ;A; Never thought that I would post the 2nd chapter this quickly, but I really enjoyed writing this. 
> 
> Feedback is much appreciated and I hope you all enjoyed Chapter 2!


	3. Change Of Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more development and Damen having a sleepless night

Damen knew that Jokaste lived in a neighborhood famous for its homes valued for millions. It was already dark by the time Damen arrived at Jokaste's house. He was speechless when he saw the house. Whatever Damen expected, it wasn't this.

The tall iron gate had been left open, presumably for him. On entering the front yard of the house, he saw a garden with lots of plants and a koi pond. To the right of the house was the garage and Damen noticed a silver Range Rover and a matte black Audi R8.

Jokaste greeted him cheerfully and gave him a kiss on the cheeck. "Welcome to my humble abode. Just make yourself at home."

 _Humble abode? Yeah, right_.

The floor was mostly white marble and most of the furnishings looked antique. A portrait of Jokaste as a child was hanging in a golden frame on the wall and an aquarium sat in one corner of the living room. The floor was covered with a thick, fury carpet. Damen was sure his mouth hung open, but he didn't really care — he was sure Jokaste enjoyed his reaction.

"Damen?"

He tore himself away and finally paid attention to her. She stood a few feet ahead of him and gave him a smile.

"Sorry," he said. He walked toward her, walking around a vase on a pedestal. It looked expensive. And handmade. "Your house is just— "

"Beautiful, isn't it?" she answered cheerfully, taking Damen's arm once more. "Want to see my room? It's upstairs."

Jokaste led him though a series of rooms. There were game rooms, studies, two libraries and even a home cinema room. It almost seemed impossible that these were all in the same house, but it never seemed to end.

Finally they entered her room. Jokaste's room looked just as luxurious as the other rooms in the house. It was fully furnished with a large wardrobe, a huge canopy bed, a make-up table and fitness equipment. A glass door led onto a balcony, which was in fact a mini garden terrace.

Jokaste closed the door behind Damen and walked over to her study desk. As she set down at her cluttered desk, straightening out her books and papers to make room for her textbook and notebook, she beckoned to Damen to sit with her behind the desk.

"So, what can I help you with?" Damen asked as he sat down in the chair beside her. "I don't have much time, because I still need to study for my Calculus test tomorrow."

"Do you want to drink something, by the way?" she asked, smiling again.

"Oh, um, yeah, thanks," Damen said.

She stood up and dropped to her knees in front of the minibar. She pulled out two cans of Cola from the fridge and a jar of macadamia nuts. She passed the can to Damen and took a swig of the fizzy drink herself. Jokaste then lay down on a pink velvet sofa and released a long heavy sigh.

Damen took a sip from his drink and opened the Calculus book to the chapter they were studying. "So, um, do you need help with this chapter? Because I could explain it to— "

Jokaste raised her chin; looked him straight in the eye. "Did you really think I invited you over just to study?"

Damen looked up at her in surprise. It took a moment for him to catch her meaning. Then he immediately recognized her expression on her face. _It had never even been her intention to study_. He suddenly felt stupid for not realizing the situation.

Damen took a deep breath and said cautiously, "Jokaste, I think you're a pretty and nice girl. But I didn't come here for... _that_."

Jokaste glanced up at him and grinned, a cheeky glint in her eyes. "Oh, sweetie, I knew that from the start. You're not even a little bit interested in me. But... " She got up and came toward him, and before Damen even realized she was moving again, she had dropped to her knees in front of him. "I am."

He blinked, alarmed. "Jokaste, what are you doing?" he asked, a warning.

"Shh." She dragged her fingers down Damen's chest, her nails lightly scrapping the fabric of his shirt, until she got to the waistband of his jeans.

Damen tried to push her away, but she already grabbed his zipper. Jokaste grinned at him. "I'm doing you a favor, can't you see?" She rested her forearms on his thighs.

"Jokaste, stop. You're not yourself."

All of a sudden Jokaste backed away. Her shoulders shook up and down and tears began flowing down her cheeks. Damen stared at her, her mascara now ruined and her lipstick smudged and now streaked across her cheeks. Something tugged inside Damen when he saw her like that; crushed and a tearful, snotty mess.

"I want you to know the real me, Damen. All my life, I have been telling secrets and they never went away. Instead, they piled on and grew into deeper secrets. Eventually those secrets turned in lies. Look where my lies got me."

Now, she just looked like just another insecure girl, rather than her snobbish Hollywood Princess self. Damen was sure she knew how people thought of her, that she was stuck up, too selfish, self-righteous, and the list went on and on. But deep down, behind the make-up and the act, she was just another girl. 

Damen wrapped his arms around her as she buried her face in his shoulder. "I'm sorry, don't cry," he said in a husky voice.

"Why?" she mumbled in his shoulder. "Am I not good enough?"

"No, it's not that, Jokaste." Damen ran his fingers through her blonde hair to soothe her, but she let out a choking sob. "You just... deserve someone better than me."

Jokaste pulled away from him and looked at him, her eyes red and wet with tears. "I-I don't deserve your kindness, Damen. Especially someone like me, I don't deserve anything. I'm just another girl from a wealthy family."

Damen wanted to tell her she was wrong, but her last words caught him off-guard. "That's not true, Jokaste. And you know that. I've hurt you, I'm sorry."

Jokaste laughed, but it was a sound without joy. Instead, it was full of self-loathing and hopelessness. "Then, kiss me."

He averted his gaze. "I... can't do that." Damen's voice was barely a whisper.

Jokaste leaned her head back and looked up at him, wiping the tears from the cheeks. "Please, Damen." She tried to smile. "And then I'll give up on you."

If anyone could fuck things up, it was him. Damen felt mad at himself that he hurt a girl who wasn't supposed to be hurt. The sound of her sniffling made him feel like shit and just that bitter slice of regret for being a cold-hearted asshole also tasted like shit.

Damen leaned forward and cupped her cheek, realizing his hand was trembling slightly. Jokaste, with a final wipe of her nose with the back of her hand, tentatively looked up at him. Damen gazed down and half-smiled before leaning towards her and kissing her.

 

***     *     ***

 

Damen went to the park and sat down on a bench. An occasional firefly flew by. Otherwise he was alone. Damen listened for a moment to the rise and fall of the cicadas and then that chorus faded into the background.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting here all by himself, but he didn't care. He was about to call Nikandros when his phone began beeping. It were a handful of textmessages from his mother and Kastor that they had sent him throughout the night.

"God, blow it up, why don't you?" Damen muttered, stunned at how many there were.

He scrolled through them, only glancing at them to determine which one's might be important. There were a few from Nikandros. There was also one from Pallas and Lazar. There was only one from Kastor. _What a loving older brother_.

Damen was already tired and contemplated on going home, when someone suddenly sat beside him on the bench. He frowned and he moved aside so they would not touch. The guy was wearing a hoodie so Damen couldn't see his face. But then, by the dim light to which he already had become accustomed, he noticed a few strands of blond hair falling forward.

"Laurent?"

The guy took off the hood and revealed a pair of blue eyes. "Ah, you got me," he said with a smile. "Wouldn't it be awkward if I were an old homeless man?"

Suddenly, Damen felt a strange calmness settling around him. His face turned into a smile. Seeing Laurent, he felt calm.

"First of all, you're probably wearing something that no one can afford," Damen said with a grin. "And second of all, no, because I probably look like a homeless person myself. What are you doing here? It's already dark."

"I could say the same to you, Damen."

Silence lingered between them, but it was now comfortable instead of tense. Then, Laurent looked at him, his blue eyes revealing nothing. Damen felt them pierce right through him and he swore there was a sky trapped behind his pupils.

"What do you need?" Laurent asked.

Damen felt his heart ache when he'd said that. He turned to see the night sky above and the stars that punctured it. It was quiet a long time. The stars looked exceptionally bright and he stared at the moon. He felt the cool night breeze on his face as he watched the small individual clouds coming and going, crossing between them and the bright moon.

It was a peaceful and beautiful moment, watching the night together with Laurent. After a long silence, he said, "I need you..." Damen said in a voice barely above a whisper. "I need you to hug me, Laurent."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

"Very well," Laurent replied as he stood up from the bench and wrapped his arms around Damen's shoulders.

Damen inhaled Laurent's scent. Laurent smelled like everything a normal seventeen-year-old boy smelled like: soap, shampoo and deodorant. Damen trailed his breath along his neck. He felt his entire body relax even more. His embrace was warm and the feel of Laurent's body so close to his soothed him more than he had expected.

"Just a little while longer, okay?"

Laurent moved his arms, embracing him more fully. He nodded. "Sure."

And at that moment, Damen felt it. He felt his heart thumping furiously in his chest, and Damen couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that his heart was pounding so loudly that he could barely hear what Laurent had said.

 

***     *     ***

 

Damen fell onto his bed before he even could get his shirt off. He looked to his right, as it was habitual, and looked at the display of his alarm clock. It read 00.30 AM exactly. He laid there unable to go back to sleep. He got up and splashed cool water on his face and tried to get some sleep, but couldn't. Restlessness was all over him. It felt like everyone in the world was asleep, except for him. 

He tossed and turned, felt hot and then cold, replayed conversations in his head, worried about Jokaste and what he would say to her tomorrow, or if he even should say anything at all. The train of thought wouldn't relent at all. Damen drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes. 

He wanted to see him. He wanted to see Laurent. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to update for a while, because I'm very busy with finals right nowW
> 
> I hope you enjoyed Chapter 3 and if there's anything I need to correct, don't hesitate to point it out!


	4. Lift Me Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damen and Laurent getting emotional and remembering their pasts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand I'm back, guys! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter. I think it's my favorite up till now. 
> 
> So nice to see your positive comments and feedback, I really appreciate it!

"Damen, you look horrible," Nikandros said laughing.

Damen groaned and sat in the back of the classroom. He braced himself for another session in the most uncomfortable, coldest classroom in the school. It didn't make any sense. The room was on the top floor and it wasn't even cold outside. But no. It was cold.

As expected, Damen could barely stay awake during class. He had barely slept that night and felt incredibly sleepy. He tried to stay awake during Ms. Connolly's history lesson, but it was so not happening.

He rubbed his face to stay awake and brushed his dark brown hair away from his eyes. It was wavy and wild and Damen was pretty sure it had a life on its own. It simply almost fell back onto his face.

"Don't you dare think that I'm going to give you my notes if you fall asleep," Nikandros whispered.

"Asshole," Damen mumbled with a grin and rubbed his face again, trying to keep himself awake.

"Yesterday, I pre-ordered the new Fifa 18  and I can't wait until it's just a couple of days from release. I've been replaying Fifa 17 all over again," Nikandros said excitedly.

"Oh yeah, I'm going to crash at your place when it—"

At that moment, Ms. Connolly's voice cut in, "Damen Galanos, please share your comments with the rest of us. It must be highly fascinating if you're prepared to miss your history lesson for it," she said sarcastically.

Damen grimaced and said, "No offense, Ms. Connolly, but everything's actually more _fascinating_ than your— " He shut his mouth when Nikandros kicked him under the table.

Damen saw the corner of her mouth twitch and he tried to stifle his laugh. He wasn't the only one talking, though. For the first half of the lesson, everyone was chatting and every question was being met with a shrug, one word answers or silence.

Four students had fallen asleep and one was even drooling on his text book. Only Laurent was sitting at the front, paying attention to everything Ms. Connolly was saying.

"So, does anyone know what Hitler's rationale was for hating Jews?" She looked around and settled her attention on Michael. "Perhaps you, Michael?"

Damen looked at Michael and laughed when he saw him desperately trying to keep his eyelids open. Ms. Connolly gave Damen a furious frown, rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Maybe Laurent?"

"Well, according to a biography I've read, it has to do with traditional anti-Semitism and the stab-in-the-back myth," he answered without hesitation.

She nodded in approval and seemed impressed. "That's right, Laurent. I'm glad we _at least_ have a student like him in this hopeless class."

Michael scoffed and looked at Laurent with a smug smile. "And here we go again, Prince Charming waving his intelligence around like a flag. Oh, but wait, I think there's something you still don't know; you're fucking annoying."

The whole class burst out laughing at Michaels remark. Laurent didn't even looked troubled, no quiver passed over his face. He was looking at Michael with a calm expression.

"Can't help you're didn't know the answer. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?" he said, keeping his voice calm. His blue eyes revealed nothing of his mood.

Michaels eyes were full of rage now and his mouth was so tight with anger he seemed to have to force it to shape the words. "You... You fucking fag. Heard you liked sticking your _dead_ brother's cock in your mouth?"

The whole class went silent immediately. Damen didn't give a damn at this point if he was going to be suspended or not. When he stood up the chair fell over and skidded across the floor to the wall. Damen didn't even feel Nikandros' grip on his shoulder and arm anymore.

"I'm going to beat the hell out of you, you motherfucker," Damen hissed.

And just like that, he punched Michael in the face. Hard. Very hard. Michael wasn't prepared, so he fell onto his desk, striking his head onto the corner.

He looked at Damen, stunned, holding the back of his head. Michael punched Damen hard in the stomach and Damen punched him harder across his face.

"You motherfucker!" Michael yelled. "You can just rot like your dead father and your stupid, good-for-nothing brother. He's a fucking junkie and you're no better than him and the pathetic coward your father was!"

That was the final straw. Bringing his father into the fight brought his adrenaline back to full force and Damen pulled him off of him. He was blinded, completely blinded. Michael turned into a blur. He heard distant shouting, arms that gripped him by his shoulders. But Damen only punched and kicked.

"Hey! Damen, principal's office! NOW!" Ms. Connolly shouted angrily. "And someone help me take care of Michael!"

Nikandros was immediately on top off Damen, but he barely felt it. At that moment, he had the strengh of five men and he was in blind rage. Damen was breathing heavily and sweating.

Damen looked at Michael. He wasn't moving, but his chest was heaving up and down. He had a black eye, his jaw and face were swollen black and blue.

"Hey, let's go," Nikandros said above the panicked shouting of the students.

Damen ignored him and walked off in the empty hallway. Slowly, he started to calm down while he was walking through the corridors.

Talking to the Principal wasn't something one usually did for fun, but Damen was already used to it. He knocked on the door rather forcefully and heard a 'come in'.

Principal Nolan looked up from behind his desk, peering over the top of the old glasses that perched on the end of his nose. He waved Damen over to the chair in front of the desk and Damen reluctantly sat down on the edge.

Principal Nolan took off his glasses and ran his hand through his thick, grey hair. He leaned back in his tall black chair and let out a sigh. "Mr. Galanos," he said. "What brings you here?"

"I beat someone up."

"And that someone is?"

"Michael Johnson."

"I see."

He looked up at the principal, suddenly unsure of what to say. "You're not going to ask me why I did it?"

"I assume it was for a good reason. I know you won't waste your time doing useless things, Damen. And besides, Michael isn't exactly in my good graces," he replied.

"But I beat him up..."

"Yes, and you are both going to be punished with after-school detention for two weeks straight," he said. "Next time, try showing some discipline and behavior, will you?"

Damen nodded. "Yes, sir."

He stood up and walked out of the Principal's office. He had a throbbing headache and his body felt like it had been run over by a truck. Everything hurt like a bitch.

He we straight for the exit of the school and ran out through the front door of the school building. Fuck Michael, fuck the Principal, this school and Laurent.

 _Laurent_. Damen remembered the dismayed expression on his face when Michael had said that and he shook his head. He didn't want to think about it.

"Damen."

"Nikandros, go back inside. I'm fine," he said, annoyed, as he turned around.

It wasn't Nikandros. Laurent looked at him, still catching his breath and his blond hair now messy. Damen looked at his face. He wasn't sure what he read in Laurent's face, but he could never read anything in his expression.

Damen turned away from him. He realized the more that the silence built between them, the more distance he was actually putting between them. He could handle his own thoughts. Had been alone with them for a while now. He knew how to silence his demons.

"I owe you an apology, Damen. I was being stupid and it's my fault you got hurt," Laurent said.

"I'm okay," Damen assured him. "I've had a lot worse."

After a while, he said, "I can patch you up if you want? I live nearby."

Damen gave him a surprised look. "Do I really look that bad?" he said, smiling faintly.

A tiny smile lifted the corners of Laurent's mouth. "Well, I guess your face has seen better times."

 

 

***    *    ***

 

 

It was indeed only a short walk. He lived in a penthouse flat and Damen's mouth fell open. They went inside and he saw a beautifully furnished living room. Everything was modern and looked expensive as if everything was hand-made.

There was a big TV hanging on the wall and there were staircases that lead to the bedrooms. It all looked like something out of a millionaire's magazine.

Damen suddenly felt nervous and he didn't know why. Maybe because it was the first time he was in his house? Or maybe because it was Laurent? He felt out of place and realized he couldn't even afford to move out next year, let alone live a life like this.

"Do you live here with your parents?" Damen asked.

Laurent hesitated. "No, I live alone. My father visits me sometimes, but he's mostly busy with work, and my mother— " He paused and took a roll of bandage out of the first-aid kit. "And my mother passed away ten years ago."

Damen felt a lump in his throat. Laurent had lost his mother and his older brother. He remembered how it was losing his father and how sad and confused he felt at that time. He hadn't known what to make of it. He had only been seven years old, just like Laurent when he lost his mother.

He watched how Laurent pulled a dish towel out of the drawer, placed a half dozen cubes on it, folded it, and crushed it. "Go lie down on the couch, Damen," he said, and placed the ice pack on the wound.

By then the stinging had almost gone away and he wasn't sure he needed any further aid, but it felt good to have someone understand how much it hurt.

"Does it hurt anywhere else?"

Worst of all were Damen's ribs, which pulsed from pain from top to bottom on both sides and felt as if they were splintering everytime he took a deep breath. He completely had forgotten that Michael used to be a boxer. Damen had bruided ribs before and knew the pain and how long it took to recover.

"No, I'm fine," Damen said with a smile. "Thank you for your help."

Laurent frowned slightly and shook his head. "No, you're not. Take off your shirt."

Damen sighed and slowly pulled of his shirt. There were bruises and wounds all over his chest and he took a sharp intake when Laurent reached out and touched one. Softly, of course, but he still winced. Laurent looked up at him.

"You can't tell me they don't hurt."

He rised on his knees and grabbed Damen's shoulders, making him turn so he could see his back. "God," he muttered. "You're solid purple."

"Really, it's not that bad."

"Don't go all 'though guy' on me. I have eyes." He reached out to touch another one, but Damen catched his hand.

"What's with you and poking at bruises?" Damen said laughing.

A silence fell. The silence between them stretched out, but Damen didn't really mind it. He could see the sun setting over the horizon. It began to flood the room with pink light.

He liked how the sun made Laurent's hair glint with gold and how his skin glowed in the soft light streaming.

Breaking the silence, Laurent ran his fingers through his hair. "What... What Michael said about me and my brother— "

"I know," Damen said. "I know it's not true."

"My father never really taught me anything. He never had his hands on mine when I was learning how to ride a bike. He was never behind my shoulder to look over and see what my homework might look like," Laurent began.

Damen looked at him and felt a throbbing feeling in his chest.

"But, I never felt like I was missing a father figure because Auguste took on that roll. He... He was very knowledgable. He had an answer to every question and if he didn't, he would research the topic. He was the best man I have ever known," he continued. "I thought you should know that, Damen."

"Laurent..."

"Don't."

That one word was a warning.

"I won't. It's just that when I see someone who is— "

"What?"

"Wounded. And you are, whether you want to admit it or not. I just wanted to say that... that I know how it feels like to lose someone dear. The world is like a violence that won't stop roaring," Damen said hoarse. "The problem is that I don't even can hold onto the memories with my father. It's like everything's in a blur. If only..."

Damen couldn't speak, and, to his horror, he felt tears welling up in his throat. It was the first time he talked about his father. He didn't share his emotions easily, but that didn't mean he didn't possess them.

The reality was that his emotions sat deeper, hence the need to build such a thick wall around them. Especially about his father and Kastor.

Damen lowered his voice to a whisper. "I don't know anymore. What should I do?"

"I don't know what you should do," Laurent said, giving him a sad smile. "But you can just do it. Since you have your whole life ahead of you, Damen."


	5. You And I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some mooore development~ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t even start pointing out all of the mistakes I’ve made in this chapter. I was just too lazy to even spell check this. 
> 
> Nevertheless, thank you for reading!

Damen grabbed his things and went to his locker. He switched books, grabbing his Math book. He still felt the scar on his temple throb and he didn't trouble to hide it. The whole school knew, hell if even one person knew then the whole school knew.

His mother was furious when she'd found out he had fought at school. She'd always been opposed to fighting, saying violence was never a good solution. Damen remembered how his father always told him that self-defense was important, but that he may never start a fight, only finish it.

"Michael really fucked you up, huh."

"Apparently, I broke his nose," Damen said while he adjusted the books in his locker and then turned around. "So I think I fucked him up even more. What do you want, Lazar?"

Lazar grinned, then leaned up against the locker next to Damen's. "Pallas is throwing a party tonight. D'you wanna come? You can tell everyone about it."

"No," Damen said. "I need to work on my English assignment and I'm tired."

"It's Friday, nobody studies on a Friday. Damen, this isn't about Jokaste is it? Come on, dude. There's going to be so much tail at this party tonight. It's Pallas' house, you know? He's filthy rich and he always throws the best parties. It'll be fun," he said almost pleadingly.

Damen crammed his sneakers onto the shelf and slammed the door close. He slung his backpack over his left shoulder. "Hey man, I appreciate the offer, I do, and it doesn't have to do with Jokaste at all, but I'm so far behind I just won't feel right not studying tonight."

Lazar sighed and drummed his fingers against the locker. "Well, my friend, if you feel like coming out later, I'll be there all night unless I get lucky," he said with a flashing grin. "Later, Damen, I'll be thinking of you... for at least the first five minutes."

"Later," he replied without much enthusiasm.

As he walked to the frontgate after the last bell had rung, Damen saw Laurent walking to his car. They hadn't talked since he'd visited his house after the fight.

He thought it would probably be awkward if he would start a conversation out of nowhere. And it's not that he had something to say in the first place.

Damen glanced up and their eyes met for a second. He quickly looked away when, to his surprise, he saw Laurent coming toward him. He ran his hand through his wavy-brown hair to straighten it out a bit.

"Laurent, um, hey."

"Hey, I was just wondering if... if you're going to the party tonight?"

Laurent looked a bit embarrassed and Damen averted his gaze to hide the fact that he was surprised by his question.

"I don't know, will you?" Damen asked, looking into Laurent's bright blue eyes.

He nodded. "Yeah, so I was wondering if you'd come too?"

"Wouldn't want to miss the chance to see you drunk," Damen said with an amused grin.

Laurent raised his eyebrows at him. "I can assure you that I can manage my liquor," he answered firmly.

"Sure," Damen said with a laugh.

"I'm serious."

Damen looked down at him and ran his fingers through his blond hair. Laurent flinched and backed away. Damen saw how his fair hair fell on his rosy cheeks.

"What are you grinning for?" Laurent asked as he looked away, seemingly trying to hide his blush.

Smiling, Damen brushed a strand of hair from Laurent's face. "I just thought you looked cute," he admitted, and Laurent blushed an even deeper red. Damen enjoyed how he looked with his cheeks bright pink.

"Stop joking around," Laurent murmured. "You better show up at that party tonight."

Damen reached around him and opened the door. "You've actually convinced me to go. I wasn't really planning on going tonight." 

He smiled, tilting his head as if Damen said something remarkable. "Did I?"

"Yeah."

Damen waited as Laurent climbed into the car and he gently closed the door behind him. Laurent rolled the window down as soon as he stared the engine.

"Do you want a ride?"

He stared at Laurent for a moment. The corners of his mouth went up in a grin. "Didn't know you could offer rides."

Laurent blushed. "I-It's not a big deal, anyway. Offer stands, if you want."

"No, it's all right, I'll walk. Thanks, though."

He nodded. "See you tonight."

 

  
*    *    *

 

After slipping on some jeans and a fresh black shirt, Damen stood in front of the mirror in his bedroom. When he ran his fingers through his damp hair an errant lock of brown, wavy hair came to rest across his forehead. He tried to brush the other falling, curly bangs to the other side, but eventually failed. Yeah, screw that.

He looked out of the window as the city raced by. The sun was setting and reflected off the buildings. He could see it glint off the tower as it rose up into the clouds reflecting the colors of evening.

Damen didn't know why he suddenly got the urge to go to the party. Maybe because he knew that Laurent was coming too? He only went to parties to dance and meet new people, but to hook up like Lazar mostly did, was something he has never done.

He knew that girls liked getting attention from him, but it just irritated him when girls just threw themselves at him. Damen was sensible enough to know that it was never something serious and so he usually turned a blind eye.

He dug his phone out if his pocket and saw a text from Lazar, saying he was almost at his house to pick him up. Damen looked at his abandoned homework assignment and the college application he needed to fill out.

Damen hoped Ms. Connolly would go light on his term paper, because his grades were a battlefield at the moment. He almost regretted going to the party. Almost.

"Damen, Lazar is waiting for you on the driveway," he heard his mother say.

He took his jacket and ran downstairs. He saw his mother standing in the hallway with a concerned look on her face.

"Don't stay out too late and be careful," his mother said as Damen put on his jacket.

"I'll be back on time, mom," he said as he went out the front door toward the silver Lexus.

Damen had only ridden in Lazar's car once, so he never really paid much attention to the inside of the car. The car was amazing, though. As soon as Damen sat down, he felt like he could sleep right there in that seat.

"Man, this car is sweet," Damen said, giving it another look.

Lazar grinned from ear to ear. "I can't believe my parents got me a car. I told them that I wanted a car for graduation, but I never thought they actually would buy me a Lexus."

He looked over Damen before he started the car. "Anyway, it'll be fun tonight," he said, not bothering to glance in the rearview mirror as he backed out of the driveway. "Everyone's coming, so you'll have a ton of new girls to meet."

He spun the wheel and the tires squealed against the pavement as the car turned sharply.

"Who convinced you to go?"

"Laurent," Damen answered. "It kind of surprised me when he said he'd come too."

For a moment, Lazar looked startled. "That new guy? So you're basically going for him? Well, you've always been a sucker for blondes, Damen," he said teasingly.

Damen felt his cheeks go red. "Yeah, right."

Lazar parked his gas-guzzler on the side of a road. Several people were standing outside Pallas' house. Damen walked toward the house while Lazar met up with a girl dressed in a black mini-dress.

Pallas' house wasn't just a house. It was just a mansion. The entryway alone had to be bigger than his entire house. It was indeed a big party due to the fact that the driveway was packed with cars. Some were even on the lawn and some were parked in the neighbor's driveways.

Damen entered the room were the majority of the people were and immediately all the jocks came toward him and shouted his name.

"I knew you'd come," Pallas said as he gripped down Damen's shoulder and gulped down his beer.

"You better not be picky tonight, Damen. There are a lot of cute girls in the group," he heard another voice beyond the pulse of the dance tune blasting from the speakers.

People were talking and laughing. There were colored spotlights on the middle of the room floor and in the middle of those lights were some of the guests dancing to the music.

Pallas showed up with two bottles of Tequila and everyone in the room started cheering. With his teeth, he pulled the cork from the bottle and poured it into shot glasses.

He offered Damen a glass and he immediately felt a warm sensation came over him. He then reached for a bottle of Jack Daniels and put it to his lips.

As Damen's eyes swept over the crowd gathered in the living room, he suddenly spotted Laurent. He wore a loose shirt and a pair of faded jeans and he thought Laurent looked good. Like, _really_ good.

Laurent looked back at him and slugged down two long gulps, all the while glaring at Damen. Laurent appeared to be communicating something to him with his eyes. He lifted his chin toward the door leading to the stairs.

"Damen."

"Yeah?" His response was delayed as he tried to peal his eyes away from Laurent.

"Don't you think it's enough?"

"Um... I should be alright, Nik. I've gotta go, talk to you later."

Damen plunged through the dancing crowd, calling out hurried apologies to the people he pushed. He went upstairs, accidentally kicking random empty beer bottles on his way, and searched for Laurent.

There was this weird, exciting feeling fluttering inside Damen's chest again: the one that came whenever he saw Laurent. Maybe it was the alcohol that had him in such a... _mood_. It probably was.

All of a sudden, a hand grabbed Damen by his wrist and dragged him into a room. The door slammed shut behind him as Laurent rested his head against his shoulder with his eyes closed.

Damen leaned closer, so that he could whisper in his ear. He caught the scent of Laurent's shampoo. "You're drunk."

Laurent angled his head in his direction. "What are you going to do about it?"

Damen tilted his head sideways so he could look him straight on. "What do you want me to do?"

He lowered his mouth to the side of Laurent's head and kissed him lightly, right below his ear. "Did you feel that?"

Laurent shook his head, but barely.

"You want me to do it again?"

Laurent shook his head again, but his eyes were closed and he was breathing just as heavily as Damen was. The moments of just a few hours before, when Lazar had picked him up, seemed far away now.

Damen looked at Laurent's lips and pressed his forehead against his. "They're perfect," he mumbled breathlessly. "I think I could stare at your lips and not get bored."

Laurent flushed. "Damen, have you ever had a serious girlfriend?"

Damen paused for a moment. "I had girlfriends, but I guess they were never that serious."

"When you kissed them, what did you feel?"

"I guess... I wanted more," Damen said. "But there weren't that many. What's your point?"

Laurent brought his eyes back to Damen, briefly, then faced the other direction again. "My point is that I rarely feel anything. I also had a couple of girlfriends, but I never felt anything."

Damen looked at him and saw the flush of his face grew deeper. He didn't know how to react. Laurent wasn't being his usual self, but Damen couldn't help but like this side of him — light and free, comfortable with him, the side Laurent tried to put away.

"I know it doesn't make sense. I've just never been attracted to anyone before you and I don't know why."

As soon as Laurent said that, Damen's head darted toward him. "Did you just say that you're attracted to me? Wait ... Laurent ...?"

Silence. Laurent had fallen asleep. Damen felt the soft rise and fall of his lungs with each breath. God, he must've been so drunk. He couldn't believe that all this time Laurent had been drunk talking. But, at the same time, he had let down his barriers enough to let Damen glimpse inside that hard shell of his.

Laurent seemed fragile and soft in Damen's arms and he knew he would never have allowed this if he hadn't been so drunk.

Damen held him as long as he could, long after his arms both fell asleep. He supposed it was unprincipled of him to take advantage of the situation, but he didn't care.

After all, how many other chances would he get to see him peacefully asleep like this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've risen from the death. I'm sorry for the delayed chapter, but I was busy with finals and just school stuff in general. I passed all my finals (barely lmao), but I got there. 
> 
>  
> 
> Till next time!


	6. What You Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I love these two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it's okay. ;w;

When Damen woke up, he had five texts. One of the texts was Nik, going on and on about his History project and if Damen could help him out. The second one was from Lazar. All it said was, "Got laid good."

The other one's were all from Jokaste and one was from an unknown number.

_Hey, I saw you at Pallas his party. You caught my eye, so I asked someone for your number. You mind? My name is Lila, by the way. xxx_

He typed back a reply: _No, not at all. Sorry, I got pretty drunk, so I don't really remember your face right now._

Damen held his phone in his hands and watched the screen as it bounced up and down against his knee. Lila texted back right away.

_Haha, thought so. You kinda disappeared after 1 AM, though. It was a nice party, wasn't it? I'm normally not a big fan of partying. And you?_

He looked at Lila's text message, but his mind was wandering elsewhere. His mind flashed back to the way Laurent had looked at him during the party and Damen ignored the shiver of awareness that coursed through him.

Damen had been lucky. He had finally caught Laurent off-guard and he hoped he had finally piqued his interest even a slightly bit. Or Laurent had just been plain drunk.

For the first time in a couple of years, Damen admitted he had never felt this way before with anyone. He had always laughed at the moment in a romantic comedy when a character says, "I've never felt this way before."

And yet here he was, saying the exact same thing to himself. Once, when Damen had been stuck with a one-sided crush when he was twelve, he had asked his mother how he would know when he was really in love.

"When you're really in love, you won't have to ask. When you feel it, you feel it," she told him. "Someday you will know, _agapi mou_."

He'd been frustrated at the time, but now he finally got an idea. Damen didn't have to ask to know what he was feeling even if he had never expected to feel it, never thought it would really happen to him.

He was going crazy.

 

*    *     *

 

Damen stared at his locker in a daze, because he really didn't want to go to class. It was first period and he was really nervous how it would play out. He took Nikandros' book out of his backpack and the other three books he'd need for that day, then put the rest of his things in his locker.

He walked into the classroom and to his seat. He didn't want to seem like he was checking Laurent out so he just glanced at him and nodded when Laurent caught him instantly.

Nodding back, Laurent immediately averted his gaze. Things seemed tense between them at the moment. Damen admitted that he needed time to absorb the fact that he liked Laurent, that he liked a _guy_. He admitted that he had been reluctant to accept that fact, but it didn't matter much to him after all.

A couple of Laurent's pens fell of his desk and stopped right infront of Damen. He picked it up and tapped Laurent on his shoulder. He turned, avoiding Damen's gaze again, and mumbled an apology.

Their hands met, fingers brushed lightly for a quick second. Damen saw how Laurent got flustered and he turned back to the blackboard. His obvious embarassment was so cute Damen wanted to tease him a bit more.

When the bell rang, Jokaste jumped out of her seat and walked toward Damen.

"I didn't see you Friday night, where were you?" Jokaste asked, raising het eyebrow at him.

"I was there, though?"

Damen walked out of the classroom before Jokaste decided to strike up a whole conversation and he turned his gaze to Laurent. He was still packing his things and Damen decided to wait.

"Hey, Laurent."

Laurent switched his books, grabbing his Spanish text, then turned around to face him. "Hey, Damen."

Damen had no idea if Laurent could still remember Friday night, as his blue eyes betrayed nothing of his thoughts.

"You know, um, Friday night," he began. "Did you get home safely?"

_Of course he got home safely, that's why he was standing here so casually right now. What the hell am I talking about?_

"I just heard that you stayed pretty late so I was just wondering if you got home safely, but looks like you did." Damen scratched his head.

Laurent shifted his weight from side to side. "Ah, yeah, I came with the car."

An awkward silence fell between them. Damen was searching for something to say and could tell Laurent was too. After a minute of awkward silence, they spoke simultaneously.

"You know, I— "

"Can I talk to y— "

They exchanged nervous smiles and Damen gestured toward him. "You first."

"I... I wanted to talk about Friday night. When you..."

Damen grinned sheepishly. "So you do remember."

Laurent flushed and closed his locker door. "Yeah, it shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry, I wasn't being myself," he admitted.

"So, you regret it?" Damen asked softly.

Laurent was quiet for a minute and he turned his head to the side to avert his gaze, but the sudden rosiness of his cheeks gave him away. "Do you?"

"I asked first," Damen said childishly.

"I don't regret it."

"Good, me neither."

His expression made Damen chuckle and he leaned forward. "Are you really attracted to me?"

Laurent blushed slightly and shrugged if off. "No, I was drunk."

"But you remember it right? So you couldn't have been _that_ drunk Friday night," Damen laughed.

"Shut up and stop grinning like an idiot."

Damen knew it but he couldn't help it. He threaded his hand through Laurent's vanilla-blond hair and walked past him toward his class, still with that silly grin plastered on his face.

  
*    *    *

 

"Mom, I'm home!" he yelled as he came inside.

Damen's mother hurried out from the kitchen while she dried her hands on her apron. "Damen, can you please run an errand for me? I wanted to make moussaka, but I totally forgot to buy eggplants and milk. You can buy something for yourself if you want."

"Sure," Damen said and took the list of errands. "I'll be back in twenty minutes."

Damen made his way to the local supermarket and went inside. He picked up three eggplants and tossed them into the shopping cart. Alright, now all he needed was some milk. He stacked the cartons of milk side by side in the wire holder on the bottom of the cart.

He also grabbed a six-pack of soda and the biggest pack Snickers he could find and threw them in the cart. By the check-out, Damen swiped his credit card through the machine and grabbed his receipt.

He put the two sacks of groceries under his arm and walked to the exit. Damen began walking when he heard a familiar voice speak up from behind him.

"Oh, hey Damen."

He slowly turned and saw Laurent looking at him with a sack of groceries under his arm. Damen only saw prepared food and frozen pizzas sticking out, though. Laurent noticed how Damen was staring at his bag of groceries.

"Yeah, I always have a stash of frozen pizzas tucked away behind the prepared meals in the freezer," Laurent explained. "I can make a salad, though."

"You could eat at my place if you want? Mom's making moussaka," Damen offered and immediately regretted saying that.

He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Ah, but you don't have— "

"No, um, I would like that."

After a short walk, Damen opened the front door and Laurent walked inside. He shut the door behind them and couldn't help but feel nervous. His house was rather small and looked like a dollhouse in comparison with Laurent's penthouse.

"You have a nice house," Laurent said with a warm smile.

Damen grinned sheepishly. "Thanks."

Something was simmering on the counter on the stove, filling the house with the smells of onions, olive oil and the aromatic herbs and spices.

Before they could even hang their jackets, his mother called out from the kitchen. "Damen, did you bring the eggplants and milk? I'm already done with the other dishes."

His mother came out of the kitchen with a salad bowl in her hands. A flash of surprise shot into her eyes. "Oh, do we have a guest?"

Damen smiled nervously. "Um, do you mind if he stays over for dinner?"

"No, not at all! You should've said so earlier, I would've made more for your friend, Damen," his mother exclaimed. "Welcome to our home," she said, moving to shake Laurent's hand and kiss both his cheeks.

Laurent tossed Damen a quick look and gave his mother a friendly smile. "Thank you for having me, Mrs. Galanos. My name is Laurent, it's a pleasure to meet you."

She waved her hand. "Please call me Egeria, Laurent," she said with a smile. "Why don't you go into the living room and make yourself comfortable?"

They went into the living room and Damen walked to his favorite spot on the couch with his feet tucked underneath him. Laurent, on the other hand, looked around curiously, his attention being stolen by the photographs on the walls. He walked closer to them and slowly scanned each picture. Damen leaned back in the couch and grinned.

Laurent was never much in a hurry and seemed so assured in every movement he made. It's like all of his actions and thoughts were precisely planned out days in advance. Damen could just picture him, writing down the words he would plan to use the next day because Laurent was so selective with them.

"You were cute when you were younger." He turned and faced Damen with a grin. "What happened?"

Damen arched an eyebrow, stood up, and walked toward him. "A couple of days ago, you said you were attracted to me, sweetheart."

"And I was just kidding, sweetheart." Laurent laughed and crinkled up his nose.

Damen nodded. "Touché."

He was standing right in front of Laurent, staring down at him. The look in his eyes were slightly mischievous, but just serious enough that it made Damen's heart beat a little bit faster. He took a step forward until Laurent's back met the door behind him. Damen casually lifted his arm and placed his hand beside his head on the door.

"I take that back," Laurent said softly. His eyes were scrolling over Damen's face for a second, but then he averted his gaze.

"Good," Damen said, moving in just a couple of more inches. "Because when you had fallen asleep back then, I thought you were pretty damn cute."

"Is that how you usually impress people?"

"Only you," Damen whispered seductively into his ear. "But, I need you... to move. I need to go to the kitchen because I think dinner's ready." Damen slowly pulled back and kept his eyes on Laurent to see his reaction, before a smile pulled at his corners and he burst out laughing.

Laurent pushed against his chest and duck under his arm. "You're such a jerk."

"It's so hard not to tease you, Laurent," Damen said, still laughing.

"Whatever."

Damen smirked at him. "Ah c'mon, my mom's famous moussaka is going to cheer you up."

Laurent nudged him in the ribs with his elbow and grinned at him. "Alright then, _Casanova_."

He opened the kitchen door and they made their way around the table. His mom's cooking always smelled good and this time was no exception. Damen began to set bowls and platters of food around the table and he insisted that Laurent didn't need to help.

"What would you like to drink?" Damen asked him.

"Water, please." he replied.

Damen's mother had indeed prepared enough food to feed an army, as expected, and he was pleased to note that Laurent wanted to try everything. Damen sat opposite to him and his gaze rested on him thoughtfully. Laurent looked back at him, and he blushed a little at that.

All of a sudden, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Pulling it out, he saw he had two texts. Damen didn't know why he got an odd feeling in his stomach.

_Are you free tomorrow after school? xxx Lila_

The next message was her adress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all enjoying the story as much as I am. ^^ 
> 
> Thanks for reading Chapter 6 and any feedback is much appreciated! 
> 
> Till next time!


	7. Think It Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damen and Laurent being all cute n stuff~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in a month. I've been kinda busy with other things, so I didn't get a lot of time to write. 
> 
> But I hope you like this chapter! ;w;

Damen made his way down the stairs to the kitchen, where his mom was cooking breakfast. He could smell the the frying bacon and pancakes and he knew that she was making his favorite breakfast.

He looked down at his plate, the food not yet touched. He was too excited to even eat his breakfast. Yesterday, after dinner, he had asked if Laurent would like to go to the cinema and he's said yes.

Damen took a deep breath, feeling excited and overwhelmed. It had been a long time since he'd last felt so excited about a date. Most of the time, it were always the girls who kept on asking him out and when they finally got the message that he wasn't interested in them, they told everyone that they turned him down.

"Oh for God's sake, Damen. You've been fidgeting for nearly half an hour. What's the matter?" his mom said, taking a sip of her tea.

"It's nothing, mom," he said, smiling up at her. "Thanks for the breakfast."

Damen walked out of the kitchen and headed upstairs to his room. He opened his closet door and took out a pair of black jeans and a grey sweatshirt. He ran a hand through his mess of wild curls and took some wax to comb it through his hair.

He then sprayed some cologne over himself and ran downstairs. Now as he stood in front of the mirror, he noticed the light stubble around his jaw. Through the mirror, he watched as his mother looked him up and down.

"Well look at you. You look handsome," she said, admiring her son proudly. "Do you have a date?"

Damen scratched his neck nervously. "Um, kind of."

She gave him a cheeky grin. "If that's the case, go have fun. But, remember, don't come home late."

He smiled. "Thanks and I won't, mom."

 

*    *    * 

 

Damen crossed the road and waited beside the entrance. He saw that it was 2 pm, so he was right on time. He sat down on one of the cushions set out for the customers and looked up at the screen showing the array of movies and the times that they began.

When he finally saw Laurent in the distance, a smile crept up on his face. Damen went up to him and he lightly tousled his hair. "You look nice."

Laurent gave him an embarrassed smile and looked down. "Thanks."

Damen walked past the popcorn stand and he ordered a large caramel popcorn for the both of them. They walked over to the ticket clerk. He handed him the tickets and the clerk said 'Cinema 6 is just down that aisle,' as he tore the tickets.

Damen and Laurent sat at the back of the cinema. The movie was playing and Laurent seemed to enjoy it, hanging on every spoken word. Damen, however, acted like he was merely watching the movie, when, in reality, he was considering making a move on him.

He hadn't been this nervous with his previous dates and yet here he was. A nervous feeling came over Damen, causing his heart to pound and his chest to tighten.

He settled back in his seat, but he couldn't concentrate on the movie anymore. As if sensing his nervousness, Laurent placed his hand on his. He didn't take his eyes off the screen and continued eating his popcorn.

Damen took a deep breath, maybe the deepest of his life. He lifted Laurent's chin and made him look at him. Damen met his eyes, holding his stare for long enough that he shifted slightly. Although Laurent maintained that serene expression that was a wall between them, he saw a flutter of desperation.

"What's wrong?" he asked and turned back to the screen.

Damen watched him closely. Laurent could so easily his feelings away from his face, but did he still have them in his heart? Hidden where he had to confront them alone?

"I want to kiss you," Damen said softly.

Laurent jolted and his gaze slipped back to him. "No," he whispered and to Damen's delight he looked flustered. He paused a few moments, then added, "Not here, there are people around us."

"They're not even looking at us," Damen said with a grin. He leaned in closer, just to be near him, and moved Laurent's blond hair away from the side of his face.

Damen could notice his blush and he caught his fingers, bringing them to his mouth, very carefully kissing them.

"Damen..." Laurent looked at him and he could feel his heartbeat throb in his ears. When Laurent didn't pull away, he drew him closer to him.

He chuckled and smiled. Damen leaned forward again, softly brushing his lips with his. He let his hand rest on Laurent's chest and could feel his heart racing under his palm. It was good go know that he wasn't the only one that felt like he was about to have a heart attack.

Laurent sighed and leaned into the kiss and before he knew he was doing it, he kissed him back. Laurent's lips were soft against his, tasting sweet. Damen wanted to scoop him up and cradle him tightly in his arms, him seated on his lap, but he also didn't want to break away from the kiss.

It was everything Damen imagined it to be. Except it was with a _guy_. He finally managed to master up the strength to pull away, not that there was much to pull away from. It was a peck that lasted forever, but yet was too short.

Laurent opened his eyes slowly, his lips still puckered slightly. His eyes were dark and gleaming and his eyelashes were fluttering lightly on his fair skin. He looked beautiful.

"I'm sorry," Damen muttered.

"No, I-I don't really mind. If it's you, it's okay," Laurent admitted, looking him straight in the eye.

Damen felt a hot blush creep up the back of his neck as Laurent said those words. He shifted in his seat. "Then, may I kiss you again?"

A soft pink flush spread across Laurent's skin. "Yeah."

 

  
After the movie finished, they walked out into the street. They crossed the street toward Laurent's car. The sky faded from crimson to a rosy glow. Damen stood facing Laurent for a few moments.

"Thanks for today, I really enjoyed it," he said with a smile.

Laurent nodded. "Me too, although we didn't see much of it." He lowered his head in embarassment and awkwardly shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"Oh, um, yeah." Damen dropped his gaze to Laurent's mouth and scratched the back of his neck. He really wanted to kiss him again.

Laurent's eyebrows shut up and he grinned. "Can you make it anymore obvious? We're on a parking lot and people can see us, you know."

"A little peck doesn't hurt, right?" Damen said with a cocky grin. He playfully wrapped his arms around Laurent's waist and pulled him closer.

Damen kissed him again and his hands automatically pulled at Laurent's shirt. He deepened the kiss subtly and gently. Laurent made a soft sound in the back of his throat, a distinct sound.

Laurent opened his eyes when he broke the kiss off. Damen saw the pink flush that stained his cheeks and he chuckled.

"Embarrassed, huh? There's really no need to be, you know."

Laurent frowned and shot him a look. "No kissing unless I give you permission."

"So cold," Damen said sulking.

The blond laughed and he stepped into his car. He turned the engine over and lowered the passenger window. "Text me when you get home."

Damen smiled and nodded. "Sure."

He watched how Laurent backed out of the space and turned onto the main road. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and put his earbuds in.

Suddenly, Damen felt two hands wrap around him. Startled, he quickly turned around and saw a girl. She had short blonde hair and blue eyes. Damen looked down at her and she gave him a smile.

"Hey, what a coincidence," she said cheerfully. "Do you remember me? I'm Lila."

"Lila," he repeated to himself. "Ah, yeah, the one from the party, right?"

"That's right," she said, smiling. Lila looked him straight in the eye. "So, who was that guy you were with? He's the new guy at school if I'm not mistaken."

Damen didn't know why he felt a cold block of ice form in the pit of his stomach. He gave her a hasty laugh and looked away. "Um, yeah, he's a friend."

"Really? You two looked very close."

"Well, um, he's close to a best friend."

He hadn't really thought about how other people would view his relationship with Laurent. Damen had always liked and dated girls and now that he'd fallen for Laurent, he wasn't so sure how people would react.

"Damen?"

Lila's voice startled him out of his thoughts and he drew his eyes back to her face. "Oh, what did you say?" 

She tucked the vanilla-blonde hair that whipped into her face behind her ear. "I was wondering if you were free next week?"

He gave her an apologetic smile. "Yeah.... Sorry, but I'm very busy with swim practice at the moment. Another time, okay?"

"Oh." Her lips twisted. "Did you just reject me?"

Damen looked at the darkening expression on her face and he shook his head. "What are you talking about? I never even said that."

Lila's shoulders started shaking and her sobs caught him off guard. He stood stiffly, stunned, and as always he felt something inside him rip a little.

Slowly he curled one arm around her shoulders. "Look, I'm sorry Lila. Next time, okay? I, um, need to go now. See you at school."

She felt silent and Damen used that opportunity to clear his throat. "Yeah, so um, see you."

As Damen walked away, he felt his stomach twist in knots. There was something... off. This whole situation seemed off. He and Laurent might've been seen, although Damen wasn't particularly worried about being caught.

But still, he couldn't shake off that weird feeling that something was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I think I really messed up that kissing part.. But the good thing is that their relationship is going to develop a lot more from here on out (yay) 
> 
> Was it good for you? 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and feedback is much appreciated~ 
> 
> 'Till next time!


	8. No One Has To Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damen and Laurent caught up in a drama.

Today was a gloomy, rainy morning. Damen was forced to use his backpack as a substitute umbrella and it failed miserably. He hated being on the streets during such bad weather.

Damen was running late again and he didn't have any time to waste. By the time he finally reached the street where his school was, he was soaking wet, and the fabric of his clothes was clinging desperately to his skin.

He ran off through the front doors of Westview High, getting the usual hard stare from the receptionist. Damen really justed enjoyed the annoyed look on her face. Continuing onto room 118, he slipped into class right as the bell rang. He took his seat quietly while receiving a glare from Mr. Fischer.

"All right, class, let's start doing some practice question on those French verbs and see if we can move on to the next part of the lesson."

Mr. Fisher began to write out page numbers that were supposed to be their homework, but he always let the students work on it class. Usually, Damen didn't finish the questions and he'd then hope that Mr. Fisher would be nice and give them fewer questions.

"Man, you never learn, do you?"

Damen felt a nudge in his side from the eraser end of a pencil. He turned to see Nikandros.

"Yeah, had a flat tire," he said grinning. "But, don't worry, Mr. Fisher didn't notice it at all."

"Dude, he totally saw you."

Damen shrugged and turned around in his seat. He tried to catch Laurent's eye, but Mr. Fisher kept trying to draw him out.

"Laurent, _traduis la phrase_ 'I'm going to the café to meet up with my friend', _s'il te plaît_."

" _Je vais au café pour rencontrer mon ami_ ," he answered in what sounded to Damen like flawless French.

" _Trés bien_ ," Mr. Fischer said pleasantly surprised. " _Est-ce que tes parents sont français_ , Laurent?"

Laurent smiled slightly. " _Oui_ , _um, le français est en fait ma langue maternelle_."

Mr. Fischer turned to the board again and Damen glanced down to his book, flipping it open to the current chapter. When he glanced up, his eyes met Laurent's. A small grin grew on Damen's face as he tried to hold the stare.

"What?" Laurent mouthed.

"Nothing," he finally said. For some reason he couldn't wipe the grin off his face.

Laurent turned around in his seat and returned his attention back to his book. Damen stole several glances in his direction, but he didn't turn around for the entire period.

When the bell rang, Damen headed toward his locker. He switched books and picked up a photo that fell out of his locker along with a note. Damen's stomach churned violently and for a moment he thought he was going to be ill.

It was a photo of him kissing Laurent in the parking lot of the cinema a couple days ago. Damen hastily crumpled up the photo in his fist and jammed it into the pocket of his jacket. The note said, "You gotta be careful, sweetheart."

The temperature felt as if it'd dropped thirty degrees. A horrible thought crossed his mind and he stared at the books in his locker. Someone had seen them kissing and decided to take a photo. But for what reason? Who would even do such a thing? He was sure he didn't see —

"You okay, Damen?"

He jerked and he turned to see Nikandros. His eyebrows were furrowed and his gaze swept over Damen's face. He looked concerned. Damen felt the photo in his pocket and crumpled it up some more.

Grabbing his English text, Damen quickly nodded before slamming his locker shut. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I called your name three times, that's all," Nikandros said, narrowing his eyes at Damen, almost as if he was sensing his discomfort. "You just looked a little... spaced out. You need to swim."

Grinning, Damen felt himself relax. "Yeah, I'll do that," he replied. "I really need to work out again."

When he got to English, he looked around to see if anyone acted differently. It didn't seem like the photo had spread yet. It would be bad if someone discovered it, but Damen was especially worried that Laurent might get into trouble for this.

Damen admitted that he'd been careless at that moment, but who knew something like this would happen? He didn't want Laurent to get involved and wanted to figure a way out of this on his own. He didn't want to cause him any more regrets and pain.

The truth was, Damen didn't which would bother Laurent more — that he would stay silent about this or that he was caught kissing a guy by a student. He frowned and let out a sigh. This situation was irritating as hell, but he knew that he couldn't ignore this matter.

 

*    *    *

 

Laurent took a seat across from him, next to Nikandros, and opened his soda. "You seem awfully pale, dude."

Damen forced a wry smile and glanced over Nikandros' shoulder at the tables. "Huh," he said, more to himself than to Laurent.

Nikandros grinned. "This cute, blonde girl has been eyeing you from over there." He nudged his head to the left.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Laurent look up. Damen shrugged. "Don't really care, Nik."

"No, no, she's _really_ cute."

Letting out a groan, Damen turned around in his seat and saw Lila. She was four tables down, staring at him with a smile. She took a sip from her water, her eyes keeping their lock on his. Lila nudged her head to the right as she stood up. She was walking toward the exit of the cafeteria, expecting Damen to follow her.

"What the — "

"Yeah. Go see what the hell she wants, _Romeo_."

Damen turned to Laurent, but he avoided his look and took a bite of his sandwich. He stood up and placed his hands on the swinging doors and pushed out into the empty hallway. Damen took a couple of steps until he got around the corner of the lockers.

Lila leaned up against one of them and her arms were folded across her chest. There was something wrong with her usual baby blue eyes. She narrowed her eyes, giving Damen a sharp, piercing look.

"Damen, as handsome as always," she said with her usual smile on her face. "But you look awfully pale today, is something wrong?"

Damen stared down at her, working his jaw back and forth. "I'm fine."

Lila took a step toward him and gently ran her finger on his cheek. "I'm not so sure about that."

He took a step away from her until her hand was no longer touching his cheek. She curled her fingers up in a fist and dropped her hand to her side.

"And why is that?" Damen tilted his head to the side and narrowed her eyes at her. This didn't feel right... at all.

"Do you know that feeling," she began, after a few seconds of studying his face, "when you have a great day, thinking that nothing could go wrong, but then all of a sudden, you feel like your world is crashing down."

Damen stared at here in complete silence. He was already getting tired of this girl and he really wanted to go back to the cafeteria to finish his lunch. But what was her purpose on calling him out on the hallways? His gut feeling was telling him that she was the one —

Lila grinned. "Laurent is an handsome guy, don't you think?"

Damen kicked off the lockers behind him and walked toward her. "What do you want?"

"Are you dating him?"

"Does it matter? How is that any of your business."

She let out a laugh. "Well, I do think that it's any of my business, sweetheart." She glanced at the pocket of his jacket, "Unless you want the whole school to know that you prefer guys now."

Damen leaned forward and lowered his voice when he spoke. "Don't you fucking dare," he said through gritted teeth.

"If this information gets leaked, you're going to be in big trouble, you know? People will start gossiping about you and it'll ruin your reputation as the captain of the swim team," she reminded him, clearly enjoying tormenting him.

"I don't care about that," he said stiffly. He turned his head and looked at the grey lockers next to Lila.

"But what about Laurent?"

That got Damen's attention again. He stared at her, his mouth open.

"When Jokaste finds out, she's going to tell all the jocks to teach your dear Laurent a lesson, for whatever reason," she said, keeping her pronunciation slow and precise. "She has them wrapped around her little finger and she knows it. You okay with that?"

Damen's fists were clenched and his nails dug painfully into his palms. He tried to ignore the way Lila's words echoed through his mind. He didn't want to give her the satisfaction of thinking she had the upper hand in this, but Damen knew she had.

He had been too careless and now this was on his shoulders. He couldn't have predicted that some random bitch would start blackmailing him. But no matter who was the blame, he was still in trouble. Laurent could be in trouble.

"What is it that you want?" he said, his throat dry.

"I knew you were a clever guy, Damen," Lila said, pleased with herself.

And before the hallway filled with students, she leaned in closer and whispered something in his ear. Damen's mouth twitched in annoyance, but he nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> French is basically impossible to learn ugh (but I really wanna be fluent tho ;A;) 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed Chapter 8~ 
> 
> 'Till next time!


	9. Losing Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama on the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this a bit late again, but I'm really busy with school and literally didn't have any time to write properly ugh. When I re-read this, I was like, "Did I really write this...?" :///
> 
> Anyways, we're back to Damen and Laurent.

_I want you to be my boyfriend._

Lila's words kept going through Damen's head like a broken record. He had tried and failed to get her voice and these words out of his mind.

But he would do this. For Laurent. He didn't want to screw up what they had just over some girl. Damen often wondered whether Laurent's actions and words meant more than they appeared to on the surface.

Maybe Laurent wouldn't even care. How would he have reacted? What would he have said if Damen had told him that he meant more to him than any other person he'd met?

Damen was certainly more cautious now. He had left his mark on lots of girls: wounds that had not yet healed, feelings that had not yet passed.

He'd never given a second thought to it, because he'd never cared enough about any of them. Still, he hated the way it made him feel afterwards.

But Laurent was different. Damen knew it the moment he saw him. He was more ambitious than everyone else he had ever met.

With a sigh, Damen grabbed a clean towel and slammed the locker shut. He undressed and wrapped a towel around his waist.

As he walked toward the showers, he could hear the other guys' laughter fading. It looked like they were already heading out. He heard the swinging door creak open and then silence.

Damen was glad he had the showers for himself today. He hung up his towel and turned on the water. Today's swim practice went surprisingly well, despite the Coaches' ill-tempered behavior.

He soaped himself all up and rinsed himself off. As he got out of the shower, he reached for his phone. When he saw that it was Laurent calling, he swiped quickly to answer before the call went into voice mail.

"Hey!" he rushed.

"Hey."

Laurent's voice was soft, timid sounding.

"So, I was wondering if you were doing something right now?"

"No, I just finished my swim practice, so I'm free now." Damen grinned. "Do you want me to come over?" he asked.

"Idiot."

He smiled when Laurent hung up and he hurriedly put on his clothes. He went outside, grabbed his bike, and left the parking lot. When he reached Laurent's apartment, he stepped into the elevator that took him to the penthouse floor.

Damen rang the bell and waited. The door opened suddenly and there was Laurent facing him in the hall. For a moment, they stared at each other, and before he knew, the door was back behind him, closed with a thud.

He wrapped his arm around Laurent's waist and pulled him closer, their faces so close that he could his breath quickening. Searching for his eyes, Damen gazed at him, hoping that he wouldn't tell him no.

"I really love your eyes," Damen said in between kisses. "They're the perfect blue."

"Quite the charmer, huh?" Laurent said with a laugh before going to the fridge. "Do you want to drink something?"

Damen fell onto the large couch, sitting back and rubbing his hands over his eyes. "No, thanks."

Laurent walked to the couch, sinking down in the corner. He grabbed the TV remote from the table and turned the flatscreen on.

Damen sat back again, putting the arm closest to Laurent around the back of the couch, beckoning him with his other hand. "Come here."

He inched closer, but Damen scooped Laurent's arms under his knees, dragging his legs until they were hanging over his thigh. "Pay attention to me," Damen said, almost pouting.

Laurent chuckled. "Are you pouting?"

"I'm not pouting."

He drummed his fingers on Damen's shoulder. "By the way, what did that girl say anyway?"

"She —" Damen furrowed his brow. "It was nothing, really."

Damen felt his stomach lurch. He didn't want to think about her, let alone talk about what happened. He wanted to figure this out on his own, so he was supposed to keep this to himself.

"Then, Do you want to watch a movie?" Laurent suggested. "To pass the time, you know."

Damen slid on top of him, holding up his weight on his hands. "I know a better way to pass the time," he said teasingly.

"In that case, I'd rather prefer the movie."

He laughed, then dropped his weight onto one arm, still hovering over Laurent. "You're a liar." He slid his hand under his shirt until his fingers barely touched the edge of his sweatpants.

Damen heard Laurent's sharp intake when he started to brush his thumb back and forth across his stomach. Despite the lack of light, he saw his cheeks flush.

Suddenly, he felt his phone vibrate. Damen pulled it out of his pocket and read the screen. It was a text from Lila.

_Meet me up at the park, now._

_xxx your girlfriend_

Girlfriend. A shiver of disgust ran through him and he quickly deleted the message.

He took a deep breath, then sat up on the couch and stared down at Laurent. "Sorry, I have to go." He hesitated. "Do you mind?"

Laurent blinked, surprised. "Yeah... no, it's okay," he said as he sat up and fixed his shirt.

Damen smiled faintly and lightly kissed him on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow."

 

***     *     ***

 

The minute he was outside, he felt a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was a dreary, broken feeling and every step he took seemed to feel like his shoes were filled with lead.

Damen growled under his breath when another text from Lila popped up on his screen. For the first time, he felt like a marionette, and that bitch was the puppeteer.

Go see her, he thought. For Laurent.

Or someone thought for him. That was exactly what it felt like. The thoughts that kept bubbling to the surface of his mind did not feel like his.

Somehow, the commands did not travel from his brain to his muscles and his body did not obey him. Didn't want to.

Damen finally sat down on a nearby bench and scanned the park. Today, everything seemed so dull - muted. The colors of the greenery in the park had always seemed vibrant, but now it just looked bland and vague.

"How long have you been waiting?" Lila sat beside him on the bench. "Sorry that I'm late, babe."

He sighed and looked at her. "Why are you being like this?"

"Like what?"

"Don't call me babe."

Lila looked at him, raised an eyebrow, and simply stated, "You're mine now, isn't that obvious? I can do whatever I want."

Damen clenched his fists and stood up. "I'm not, Lila. This is bullshit and you know it."

The annoyance slipped back into her voice and in  the way her mouth twitched. "I don't want you to have any contact with him anymore."

"What the fuck are you saying? You can't expect that from me."

She scoffed at his reply. "That's rule number two. You know what's going to happen, so you better listen carefully."

"What now? You want to make this public, or what?" he shrugged, looking bored.

Lila didn't answer and just continued to look at the  ducks in the pond infront of them.

Damen shifted backwards on the bench. "Fucking hell." His voice sounded hoarse and his throat felt dry and scratchy.

"Do you love him?"

He looked up, surprised, then after a moment where he couldn't detect a thing from her blank face, she repeated the question.

Damen looked away and drew a breath. He'd admitted that his emotions had been all over the place since meeting Laurent. He had always been so sure about everything. Had always considered himself a logical, clear thinker.

But now he felt baffled and defeated. It had always been so clear-cut with his previous girlfriends. Damen had liked them for their looks and out-going personality, and that was it. But with Laurent... it was like he couldn't think straight with him around.

Maybe that was love too.

Lila suddenly let out a small laugh. Her eyes were changed. They were sadder. Damen blinked, believing for a moment that his eyes were playing tricks on him.

"Don't say anything," she said. "I can see it all across your face, you love him."

Putting his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, Damen stood up and looked down at her. "Just keep your mouth shut about this, you understand?"

Lila simply smiled. "I will, but remember that I want something in return, sweetie."

He snorted. "It's not that I have a choice."

All of a sudden, Damen felt someone slap him on the back and turned to see Lazar and Pallas. Lazar grinned and leaned forward to whisper in Damen's ear.

"Have you guys done it already?" he teased.

"Shut up, Lazar," Damen spat. "Not in the mood."

Lila stood up and attached herself to his side and gave Lazar a quick look-over. A fake smile grew and she stuck her hand out.

"I'm Lila, Damen's girlfriend. I've heard lots of things about you, Lazar," she said, her voice dripping in fake enthusiasm.

"Nice to meet you, Damen's girlfriend," he said, taking her hand and giving Damen a wink. "I've heard so much about you too. Damen keeps talking about you."

Damen wanted nothing more than to take Lazar out into the woods and bury him alive. He clenched his jaw and gave him a deadened look.

Stunned, Lazar stepped back and shoved his hands in his pockets. For a moment, Damen thought he was going to say something, but then he walked away. Pallas gave him a small smile and Damen returned it with a nod. Lila was smiling too as she turned her attention back to him.

"Nice friend you have, I already like him."

"You've got what you wanted. I'm going home."

And before Lila could even protest, he was gone. Damen walked faster, faster and faster until he was running. He ran as fast as he could down the middle of the road and he felt his lungs burning, but he refused to slow down.

 _Screw this shit, screw Lila, screw everyone_. Damen tried to choke his irritation down. He wanted to see Laurent. No, he didn't want to see anyone at this moment, especially him.

And if Laurent would ask him if everything was okay, he would put on that same damned smile and tell him that everything was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed Chapter 9!
> 
> Till next time~


	10. Time Will Tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone~
> 
> This took waaay too long to write, don't know why ;A; 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy Chapter 10 and as always thank you for your patience. <3
> 
> (i think this has way too much grammar mistakes bcuz i didn't re-read it...)

People were always talking. That was part of high school where everyone knew everyone's business. If one person knew, then the whole school knew. Thanks to Lazar, the news had spread like a wildfire.

Anger flicked its tail in Damen as an upset animal. When he walked through the hallway, he could feel everyone's eyes on him, most of them filled with astonishment, only a few with jealousy.

Damen walked to his locker and took out his books. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lila heading straight toward him.

"Great," he muttered.

"Hey," she said and tiptoed over to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Do you have something to do this Saturday?"

Damen pushed her off his chest. "Lila," he said, irritated. "I need to go to my class."

He slammed his locker shut and walked away. He didn't have Spanish with Laurent, but he didn't know if he was relieved or not. He was Lila's boyfriend now. He mulled the words over in his mind, getting used to the odd feel of them. Emptiness filled the pit of his stomach.

Damen just had no idea how to face Laurent from now on.

 

*    *    *

 

During lunchtime, Nikandros was babbling about a new video game he'd bought over the weekend and even offered to play it together after school, but Damen shook his head. He really wasn't in the mood.

"Hey, Damen?" He took a bite of his sandwich and furrowed his brow. "You're really quiet today, something wrong?"

Damen glanced up at his friend. "I'm okay, Nik. You don't have to worry," he said, absent-mindedly fiddling with his fingers.

"How are things with your new girlfriend?"

_He froze. Was it that obvious? No, he probably just wanted to keep the conversation going._

"Fine, we've only been dating for a week. Nothing special."

"Oh right." Nikandros gulped down the last of his Coke. "Laurent was searching for you. He wanted to talk about something."

Damen's jaw twitched at his name and he tried to calm his trembling hands underneath the table.

"Really?" he mumbled.

"And, oh, by the way. I got you that one book we need to read for English literature. I couldn't even get passed the fifth page."

"Thanks." At least Nik wasn't pressing the issue.

"Incoming," Nik said, eyebrows raised as he looked over Damen's shoulder. Damen didn't need to turn around to know who it was.

Lila swung her legs underneath the table and set down her tray. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and held his arm possesively.

"Babe, can I have a bite of your sandwich?"

Damen shoved his tray at Lila. "Yeah, you can have it. I don't like it anyway."

Lila pursed her lips and glanced at Nikandros, who was sitting across the table. "And you are?"

Nik forced a nonchalant shrug. "I'm Nikandros," he said. "And you must be Lila, right?"

"You must've heard a lot about me, I suppose."

"Oh, um, I guess?"

Lila gave him a look that could've withered a plant and took another bite of the chicken sandwich. "It doesn't matter, we just started going out. Damen means the world to me."

Damen, on the other hand, snorted. "I appreciate your sweet words, _babe_ , but I've gotta go."

She rolled her eyes. "I just got here. What is it that's so important now?"

"I have to give my English assignment in to Mr Palmer," he said and shot Nikandros a glance. "See you, Nik."

Damen stood up and rushed toward the exit of the cafeteria. He walked to the library, hoping Laurent would be there. A nervous feeling came over him while he was running toward the library and he didn't know if he would be there. The place already had a familiar feel to it for Damen, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

At this point, Damen didn't even care if Laurent would get mad. He wanted to see him. It was the first time he had been totally enthralled with every facet of a personality — more than he should have. He couldn't believe he had potentionally fucked all things up because of one stupid girl.

He wanted to see Laurent so badly. He just wanted to hold him and have him next to him. As Damen stood before the library door, in the all too familiar position, knowing Laurent could be behind that door — or not.

Damen took a deep breath and opened the door. He walked into the room and felt his heart skip a beat. He was standing there, looking outside the window. The sun was just peeking in through the curtains, making his blond hair look like a halo.

"Hey, Damen."

He felt his heart sink when he heard his voice. Laurent's quiet words sounded sad, hollow even.

"Laurent, I'm — "

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, barely above a whisper.

How was he supposed to answer that question? How should he say it without feeling like his heart could break any second? Damen's mind was so exhausted and his heart hurt so much right now.

"I'm sorry."

"How hard would it have been to say that you liked her? I just don't understand why you've been lying about it," he said achingly.

 _God, this was so hard_.

"It's not that easy. There's so much I need to explain to you, but I can't tell you right now." Damen's voice cracked. "I'll tell you when it's the right time."

"Were you ever going to tell me in person?" he asked. "The whole school was talking about it, you know."

Damen looked down at the ground because it was too hard to look him in the eyes. He couldn't. He couldn't tell him. If people found out about that photo, Laurent would definitely get into trouble.

"You knew that it had been a long time since I... since I opened up to someone like that. When you'd kissed me, I just let it happen because I wanted to. I thought you were..."

It felt like Damen's whole body was wilting. It was the first time he had seen Laurent like this. Fragile, vulnerable, confused, shocked — disappointed? Yes, disappointed, as well.

"Laurent, this is the first time that I've felt this way with anyone," he said, holding on to him with his hand.

Laurent broke eye conctact with him, trying to think. He pulled away from him. "Don't take me for an idiot, Damen."

A rush of breaths escaped Damen's lungs and he took Laurent's hand again, but he pushed his hand away.

"I've been a fool." Laurent was looking at him with a grim expression. "Maybe this was never meant to be, after all."

"Laurent..." Damen's voice sounded foreign and twisted. "Please, I — " His voice cracked again.

Without another word, Laurent shoved past him and walked toward the door. As soon as Damen's elbow met the countertop, he buried his face in his arms and inhaled several deep breaths. He couldn't bring himself to run after Laurent and take him in his arms. Didn't have the courage to. But seeing him   
in this state and knowing there was nothing he could do to help him?

It was the most disappointed in himself he has ever been. 

 

***    *    ***

 

The strong scent of chlorine filled Damen's nostrils. The sound of Coach's whistle echoed through the pool and he started yelling.

"All right, let's see what we got here today. Go stand in two lines next to each other. On each whistle the pair at the front dive in and swim to the other side. I'll be judging your swimming proficiency."

After another whistle blast, Damen lined up at one end of the 25 yard pool. With his arms bowed over his head, he dove in, feeling his back arch as he glided in the crisp, clear water.

But it was as if Damen's brain swirled like a tornado and all te sounds around him were sizzling like the water was boiling around him. He heard Coach O'Donnell yell from behind him.

"Son, what's the matter with you?"

Damen started to swim toward the other side of the pool but felt too heavy. It was as if he couldn't swim anymore. Everyone else had finished their lap and were standing at the poolside, frowning.

Finally, on one of his loops he got close enough to the edge. Coach hauled him out of the water, hands under his arms. Damen's breath came in shallow pants and he felt like he'd swallowed half of the pool. He took off his goggles and let them dangle on his chest.

Coach O'Donnell, red-faced and eager, grabbed Damen's goggles and pulled him to within a couple inches of his face. "What the fuck was that, Captain?" Coach yelled. "This was one big fucking joke!"

Damen just stood staring at the black and white pool tiles to avoid looking at his piercing blue eyes. This was just the worst. As captain of the swimming team, he really needed to get his shit together

Coach O'Donnell clapped his hands together. "Guys, in the meantime, work on your butterfly stroke." He blew the whistle again and one by one the guys dove into the water.

"Come on, son, get yourself together," Coach said with a hand on his shoulder. "For the team." He walked away, indicating their meeting was over.

Damen wordlessly walked into the locker room and changed. He stepped through the door and walked to his bike, when he noticed someone sitting on the ground surrounded by a pair of blue swim trunks, towels and a pair of Cars goggles.

He hurried across and squatted down in front of the young boy. It was Nicaise. His cheek was scraped and bloody and he had bruises all over his legs. He eyed him warily up and down and Damen noticed his already dried up tears.

"What do you want?" he said sharply.

"What happened? Who did this?"

"That's not any of your business."

"Nicaise,  _who_  did this to you?" Damen repeated.

Silence lingered between them. "Promise me you won't tell Laurent?" He looked away and Damen saw his shoulder hunch, as if he was trying to make himself as small as possible.

"I — " He hesitated and gave him a sad smile. "I won't." 

Nicaise fought back the tears that welled up in his eyes again. "There's a couple of older guys from the swimming club who bully me," he mumbled, his voice so soft and broken that Damen could barely understand him. 

"And?" 

"They beat me, sometimes. But it's nothing serious." 

Damen could feel anger well up in him. "Nothing serious? You have bruises all over your legs and you have a black eye," he spat. "How long has this been going on?"  

Nicaise nodded and wiped his tears with the back of his hand. "Couple of months." 

"Tell me their names and I'll go talk to them." 

He shook his head quickly, his chestnut curls hanging limpy around his face. "No, it's okay. I'm used to it," he said. "Laurent will definitely find out about this and I... I don't want him to feel troubled." 

Damen rested a reassuring hand on Nicaise's shoulder. "I won't tell Laurent, okay?"

Nicaise stuck out his pinky. "Pinky swear?" 

He smiled and latched his pinky with his. "Yes, I promise." 

After bringing Nicaise home, he went to see Govart and his clique. Right now, this motherfucker was his priority. It wasn't any of his business, but Nicaise had no idea how hard it was to sit back and let these fuckers give them their way. 

He knew they were a bunch of delinquents who lived on smoking pot, had terrible grades and fucked every girl they laid eyes on. Govart's group usually hang out at the park and Damen's mind was signaling for him to walk away, because he wasn't looking forward to getting a black eye. 

"Look who we have here." 

The reminder of seeing Govart's pig face sent a shiver of disgust down his spine. Damen turned around and faced him. Govart really was at an advantage sizewise, since he was about almost a head taller than him. But with his height of 6'1 Damen could manage. 

He inhaled a breath. "You know Nicaise?" 

Govart laughed and crossed his arms over his chest, flexing his biceps. "Yeah, the midget. What's with him?" 

"Yeah, can you back off?" Damen's teeth were clenched, his jaw was tight and his pulse was pounding in his head. "You're pathetic."

"Go fuck yourself, you his brother or something?" 

Damen looked him hard in the eyes. The intensity of what he could to him right at that moment was even scaring him. 

"Govart," he said through clenched teeth. "You're leaving him alone, okay?" 

Govart took a step forward and towered above Damen. "Nah, he's actually just the right height to suck my dick," he said with a grin. 

Damen reached forward and grabbed him by his collar and punched him in the mouth. "Didn't you just hear me? Back. The fuck. Off." 

Govart held his nose. Blood seeped from between his fingers. "You've got to be fucking kidding me." He wiped his mouth and punched Damen in the stomach. "Don't touch me, you piece of shit." 

He grabbed his stomach and bent double. He felt an excruciating pain and his stomach tightened. Govart lifted Damen's face and punched him again. 

"Did you have enough?" 

Damen took a deep breath before smiling and spitting his blood in Govart's face. "You fucking disgusting pig." 

At the end, Govart decided to leave and after a couple of beatings, finally said that he'd leave Nicaise alone. Blood dribbled down on Damen's grey shirt and his black eye was hurting like hell. His head throbbed  and the pink on his lift was swollen and hot. Probably broken.

He forced himself forward, half limping, half hopping toward Nikandros' house. His mom would kill him if she saw him like that, so he hoped Nik would let him stay the night. Damen's breath hitched in his throat and he felt his ribs hurt, like a handfull of knives stabbing in his chest.

He thought about Laurent and how he had treated him after his fight with Michael. How his skin had burned up everytime he touched him and how badly he had wanted to touch him too, but was too afraid to do so.


	11. Young Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He is something to behold  
> Elegant and bold  
> He is electricity  
> Running to my soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS, how have y'all been? I know you didn't see me much the past couple months and honestly I don't know why this chapter took so long to write. 
> 
> Even though we're already one month into 2018, I hope you're all having a great start to your year so far!

Damen woke up to the sound of the squeaking of the floorboards. His mother went to the window in his room and opened the curtains, letting the morning light flood in. Damen groaned, turned on his side and hid his face in his pillow.

"Mom, what are you doing? It's Saturday today and it's not even seven yet."

"Damen, can you please help me move the boxes? We're going to the flea market today. I rented a booth there," she said, cradling a moving box in her arms.

"Mom, please. I just need some sleep now."

She pulled off his covers. "Damen, you're acting like a little child. Get moving."

He had never been fond of getting up early, in spite of having been brought up in an earlyrising family. Damen lazily swung his legs over the side of the bed and glanced at the full-length mirror at the other end of the room.

He stroked his chin and he ran his fingers through his hair. It was all over the place and at this moment he looked like any other homeless person walking the streets.

Damen dressed himself in a grey hoodie and a pair of black jeans. He picked up two cardboard boxes and tossed them in the trunk. He had completely forgot about his Mom's new hobby; making jewelry.

She sold self-made necklaces, bracelets, rings, whatever you wanted. The flea market was the place she went the first weekend of every month.

Damen never went because his Mom was there thirteen hours a day and he'd probably be bored out of his mind,  anyway.

He climbed into the passenger seat and glanced at his mother as she began backing out of the driveway.

"This is the first time you're taking me with you?"

His statement sounded more like a question.

"Well, today is a very exciting day. I just finished the re-stocking  yesterday so there's a lot to unpack and I couldn't possible do it on my own," she said.

"Hm." Damen turned his head toward the window, watching the cars pass by.

"You know," she said, "is there something bothering you, sweetheart? You've been acting different."

Damen gave her a quick look. "No, I'm fine."

She nodded unconvincingly. He could see that look on his Mom's face, the one that said she was on the trail of discovering something.

This was when she became the most persistent, but he guessed it was a typical characteristic that made Greek moms unique.

If his mother sensed that anything in the least was troubling him, she seemed to consider it her duty to get it out in the open and solve it.

"Are you in a fight with one of your friends?" she asked. "It better not be Nikandros, because I'm following this workshop with his Mo— "

"No, Mom, would you give it a rest?" His words came out harsher than he intended. "Please."

She opened her mouth and then she closed it. She remained quiet for a long time and Damen knew her silence was an intimidation tactic. 

"Well, if there's anything that has been troubling you, I'm here for you. You better know that, Damen."

"Thanks," he muttered and returned his gaze through the window and into the dreary morning.

 

  
    *    *    * 

 

It was already 1 p.m. when Damen finally decided to take a break and stretch his legs. He had been helping out customers for almost five hours.

He browsed a few other pavilions and saw booths stacked high with junk, old creepy dolls, rusty keys and vintage clothes.

Damen walked over to the hot-dog stand and while he was standing in line, he noticed Jonah in the distance.

He had been best friends with Jonah since they were little kids, but after he had moved, they lost contact.

"Jonah? Man, it's been way too long. How have you been?"

"If it isn't Damen," Jonah said with a grin. "And yeah, not much, can't complain. I heard you became captain of the swimming team?"

"Well, it's not much, but I still enjoy it," Damen said. "You here on your own or?"

Jonah hesitated, but then muttered, "No, um, I'm here with my boyfriend."

Damen's eyes grew wide with surprise . "Your boyfriend?"

"Yeah, um, he went to get some popcorn. I know, you're probably surprised, but— "

He waved dismissively. "Don't worry about all this, man. It's okay."

Jonah gave him a small, grateful smile. "So, did you get yourself a girlfriend?"

Damen hesitated. "Um, eh, actually— "

"I remember that you always had a thing for blondes, didn't you?"

Damen folded his arms across his chest. "Eh, well yeah, it's kind of complicated."

"What do you mean?"

He didn't know if he could trust Jonah and wondered for a moment if he should tell him or not, but it turned out they were on the same wavelength, anyway.

Jonah would be the first person to know and for some reason he felt himself tense up, as if he were expecting to be struck by a physical blow.

 _Fuck it_.

"The thing is, I'm dating someone right now. It's the first time that— "  He hesitated. "That I'm dating a guy."

He watched Jonah as a small grin grew across his face. Then he chuckled and before long, he was in a full laugh. Jonah was laughing so hard, he could barely stand straight.

"I can't fucking believe that I was stressed of coming out to you just a minute ago. I mean, you were always so into girls."

Damen gave him a lopsided grin. "I'm still into girls, but I guess he is the only person I want to be serious about."

"But, I mean, since when? And how did you meet? What does he look like?"

Damen awkwardly scratched the back of his head. "I don't know, like about four months ago. He just moved here and we're in the same class."

All of a sudden a brown haired guy holding some popcorn and drinks approached us. He was rather short, with a dark complexion and pleasant features.

"This is Damen," Jonah said. "He is a good friend of mine."

The guy stuck out his hand and gave him a friendly smile. "I'm Elliot."

"Hey, I'm Damen," he said, taking his hand. "Nice to meet you."

Elliot and Jonah exchanged glances and he nodded slowly. After that, Damen noticed how Elliot brushed his hand against Jonah's for a split second.

"Actually, how long have you been dating?" Damen asked. "I mean, if you don't mind telling me."

"About eight months now," Jonah replied. "Honestly, it's not a big deal. We just want to keep our relationship more on the down low."

Jonah grabbed Elliot's Coke from his hand, took a long sip, then gave it back. A wry smile spread across his face. "That aside, what's your current situation with your boyfriend?"

Elliot's eyes widened. "Wait? Boyfriend?"

Damen felt his face flush from embarrassment and he turned his head toward the side. "I... I feel like only half his feelings are directed toward me. I mean, for me, it's more than enough the way it is now," he said softly. "It doesn't even matter anymore, I completely fucked it all up."

Jonah drew his eyebrows together. "Why?"

"Because it was my intention to put in every effort so that he won't get hurt again. In the end, I was the one who hurt him." He paused. "Turns out,  I'm just no good for him."

"Stop beating around the bush and just straight up tell him, Damen. Lack of communication really fucks up a relationship," Elliot said. "It almost fucked up ours, so I'm saying this out of experience."

"What, so you guys still haven't done it?" Jonah asked.

Damen frowned. "Jonah, you suck at giving advice, dude."

"So you haven't thought about it at all?"

"Well... yes. I mean, no. I mean, we didn't really get the chance to, um, yeah..." he stuttered. "Things don't work out that easy, I guess."

"Yeah, but still no sex," Jonah said, poking Damen in the chest.

Elliot hid an amused grin at his reaction behind a cough and Damen scoffed. "Jonah, you fucking jerk."

 

  
*    *    *

 

The sun was already setting when they were on their way home. The sound of rain against the car window was persistently loud. Damen rested his head against the window and closed his eyes.

Laurent's voice ghosted through his mind. _Maybe this was never meant to be, after all_. He couldn't think straight anymore. He felt lost for words.

Damen had already regretted his last words to Laurent. He wanted to explain himself better. He wanted to find a way to say how much he still cared for him, that he actually loved him.

But he couldn't, he simply couldn't.

And then he apparently dozed off in the car because, the next thing he saw, was his mother standing outside on the porch. Damen yawned and opened the car door.

"It's already late, so you probably should go to bed," his mom said, opening the door silently.

Damen nodded and went straight to his bedroom. When he got inside his room, closed the door and dropped onto his bed. He grabbed his phone and couldn't help but dial Laurent's number, ignoring Lila's text messages and missed phone calls.

It went straight to voicemail.

Damen groaned and let his head fall back onto the pillow. He felt his phone vibrate again a few moments later, but did not answer the incoming phone call out of lack of interest. He assumed that Lila either called him again or she wanted to meet up.

But then he saw Laurent's name pop up on his screen.

"Yes?"

"L-Laurent," Damen said, pulling himself into a sitting position, doing his best to ignore his stiff body. "I want to see you, please."

In the quiet, he thought he could hear Laurent's breathing. Listening and taking a few deep breaths, he heard nothing. Only calm, restful silence. The rain must have stopped.

"Meet me up at the park."

And then Laurent hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps. i promise i'll be updating more frequently from now on. pls bear with me!


	12. Minds Of Stone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! 
> 
> I'm sorry that I haven't been active at all during the previous three months or so (although I promised I'd be more active, I apologize ;A;). Life's been very hectic because school is getting on my last nerve, plus I kind of forgot about this while I was working on my other story (stay tuned for that hehe)
> 
> Hope you enjoy and as always thank you so much for reading! x

It was the first time that Damen pedalled so fast, as if his life depended on it. All the trees and houses turned into a blur. He rode his bike at such a dangerous speed, his legs started to shake. At this moment, he had no regard for his or anyone else's safety. Damen felt the racing beat of his heart thumping furiously against his ribs.

When he arrived at the park, he felt sweat beading on his forehead, and was surprised to find that his muscles still served him. He shivered from a chill that had nothing to do with the cold and felt his breath become more labored. He was nervous. _What if he doesn't show up? What if it's all been a joke_?

His thoughts were all piling in on each other, when he heard gravel being upturned, meaning a car had just pulled in. Dressed in a black sweater and a pair of denim jeans, Damen did not think he had ever seen Laurent so... _hot_. His hair had a slightly messy appearance, as if he had been running his fingers through it on the way here. Laurent's gaze swept across the park entrance before landing on Damen.

He gave him a little smile, sad even, and raised his hand in a greeting.

"Hey, Damen."

Damen relaxed his shoulders and stepped forward.

"Hey."

There was an awkward silence that swelled thick and full between them.

Laurent shifted from one foot to another, nervous tension pulling his mouth into a frown. "I must be out of my mind," Laurent said, his voice a loud whisper.

"I've missed you, Laurent. The past weeks have been one fucking hell."

His comment clearly struck a nerve, because Laurent lowered his head and refused to meet his eyes.

"Say something, please."

"Listen, Damen, I just don't think we're compatible. You've found yourself someone more suitable that I would ever be. It isn't going to work out like every normal relationship, because we're different. We're both _guys_."

Laurent's words sounded self-assured, yet he could hear a distinct tremble in it. Damen struggled his heartbeat from going wild and balled his hands into fists.

"How can you say that with a straight face? You said that you've never felt this way before," he said and leaned forward. "Don't tell me it was lie, Laurent?"

"You're popular and people like you. I'm just going to end up ruining everything for you and I don't want that."

Laurent's words transformed into an unbearable weight in his chest and he felt himself tense up. "You're not going to ruin everything. I only want you now. Do I look like an idiot to you?" Damen's voice was harsh and it caused Laurent to flinch.

Their chests were rising and falling as one as the silence and tension grows thicker. The intensity of the moment made Damen's stomach lurch. He was completely taken aback by his emotions.

"I didn't want things to end, Damen," he mumbled. "I don't know what I need to do. Things are hard for me too, you know?"

"That's your response?" Damen responded with an unsteady voice.

"For fuck's sake, Damen, I liked you too. I _still_ like you. This is the first time that I felt so serious about a person and I never lied about it," Laurent said out of breath, his voice filled with frustration. "I need you to be mad at me. But I know that I still need you."

The throbbing in Damen's throat was retreating, and while he could feel his heart speeding, it no longer was a wild and violent beat. It felt different. "Give me your car keys," Damen said with a straight face.

Laurent raised an eyebrow and gave him the keys.

"Why?"

Ignoring his question, Damen grabbed him by his wrist and walked through the parking lot, tension radiating in the space around them. Laurent reached for the door, but Damen grabbed his wrist, spun him around, and pushed him against the car.

"What are you—"

Damen's mouth was on him in an instant, hard, demanding and furious. They pulled themselves closer, wanting to find a perfect connection. Laurent's head slanted, deepening the contact. Damen pulled away and traveled down his neck.

"So, you need me, huh?"

"Let... me go."

His gaze came to rest on Laurent and his eyebrows lifted. Damen's eyes were observant and restless, his features hard.

"All of a sudden, I feel so fucking horny after seeing you," he said in a low voice.

Laurent's breath hitched and his cheeks flushed a bright red. "This is not the right time."

Damen reached for the handle, got into the car and pulled back the seat. He raised an eyebrow at Laurent, who was standing outside. He looked away in embarrassment and shook his head.

"You're out of your mind, Damen. Let's go home."

Damen grinned and patted his lap.

"Are you just going to stand there? It's cold."

For a moment, Laurent hesitated, but then he climbed onto his lap. Damen felt breathless. Everything tingled. It must be the cold. He closed the car door and locked it. Laurent shivered under his kisses, but he wasn't cold at all. His body radiated heat, warming him from his neck to his feet. Damen kissed slowly along his neck and shoulder, occasionally tracing his tongue on Laurent's skin.

"Damen, this isn't okay," he said, his eyelids drooped.

"You don't seem to be having any problem," he murmured, slipping his hand underneath Laurent's sweater.

Damen trailed his fingers down his naked spine and traced the waistband of his jeans. Laurent let out a small gasp and, looking down at his eyes, he saw that he was embarrassed. He dropped his mouth and kissed him deeply. Laurent placed his palms against Damen's chest, trying to hold him back.

He slid his tongue along his lips until he opened to him. Damen's hands wandered along Laurent's jeans and slid down to unzip it. All of a sudden, Laurent froze and pulled away from the kiss.

"We should stop." Laurent tried to stay calm, but his voice trembled.

Ignoring him, Damen slid his hands down on his thighs and looked at him from down his hips. Laurent backed away.

"I'm serious. It doesn't feel right," he said sharply. "You chose to be with Lila and you expect me to act like nothing has ever happened."

"Lila." Her name was ugly and bitter on Damen's lips.

Silence.

"You can say you like me all you want, but if you're always going to act like the opposite, then I can't trust your words anymore," said Laurent.

The words came out so choked that Damen hardly understood them. Damen's throat constricted.

"There are just some things that I can't tell you, I'm sorry."

"Why can't you just be honest with me?"

He looked away, frustration building inside of him. "I want to."

"Then show me."

Damen's phone buzzed with an incoming text. It was from Lila, saying she missed him. Laurent saw the text and pushed off of him. He opened the door and stepped out of the car.

"Laurent—" said Damen, but he cut him off.

"Don't. I've had enough."

Laurent's glare drilled into Damen, sending a shiver down his spine as the air around them started to grow thicker and thicker again.

 

***      *      ***

 

Damen’s breath steamed into the cold night air, but he felt neither the rain nor the cold. He felt still, empty, like he was stuck in a bottomless pit. He couldn’t keep this up any longer — he acted like a coward.

At this moment, Damen couldn’t give a damn fuck about what anyone had to say about them, because he wanted Laurent to love him. He wanted Laurent to love him so deeply and Damen couldn’t ignore the gnawing feeling in his gut anymore.

Back in the car, Damen had sensed Laurent’s disappointment immediately, and he knew it was nothing like him. Laurent was the type of guy who’d rather conceal his emotions than showing them. Damen clenched his fists for fear he might hit something.

He felt a tear slide down his face — and he hated the feeling.

“I fucked up,” he huffed through clenched teeth, holding his head in his hands. “What am I even doing?”

Damen didn’t think he would be able to love someone this much and it scared him. He realized he had always secretly yearned for something. Someone who’d close up his wounds, someone who could make his thoughts disappear. And that meant that you had to be vulnerable enough to let that someone in. Loving someone felt like some kind of tornado that teared you into pieces.

But Damen guessed that he had always been bad at love, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the end of Chapter 1.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it and if there's anything I need to correct, don't be afraid to point it out! 
> 
> 'Till next time!


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